♡4 Awkward beginning

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"Don't expect sex from me," I said first, if we are talking boundaries I of all people know my own boundaries. Most neurodivergent know what they like or do like even if they don't have definite words for it. "I haven't been with a man by choice."

"We don't want to do threesomes."

"Bro, wasn't even a fucking option. I love to be in pleasure not scheming." I said, three is a crowd, and having to focus on two people, too many variables. I don't want to be thinking when getting dicked down.

"We also don't really want to live together—"

"Do I have to travel the world?" I felt myself cringing at the thought of airport security and all the hassle of being cramped. "I don't like airports."

"Corrections she hates airports, and she has no idea where she's going if she does not do airplanes alone. Will cry will throw a fit." Charlie explains. I felt exposed but it was completely correct. "She's been to the airport over a dozen times and still has no idea where shit is. She gets lost in our own neighborhood unless it's to the grocery store or to her bookstores, she doesn't know where it is."

"She can ask for directions," Ghost said. I looked away I rather stay lost and have a panic attack than talk to strangers. God forbid they recognize me, in every photo I take with Charlie's Dan I look constipated and cramping that's how awkward my smile is.

"Ghost this is the same woman who didn't talk to you for a few weeks, remember? You think she has the capability to talk to people? She has severe anxiety." I feel both Ghost and König studying me, looking me over.

"How do you function?" Ghost asks, genuinely befuddled.

"I don't."

"How did you pass basic training?" König wonders, "I fear you break under a feather."

"Look military life is a cult but at least it has order and the shit they ask you to do all have a logical reason, it's a tism's wet dream, I thrived because I didn't have to try. Literally handbooks on how to interact with each other! You can see rankings everything is readable! Also organization! Meaning! Reason!" I said reaching into my bag and pulling out the handbook on interaction. "I know the recruiter who recruited me was in heaven because I was that easy to snag!"

"We'll aren't you lively," Ghost said with amusement. I roll my eyes and smile.

"Look having Charlie's dululu ass here helps."

"What?"

"Like I'm pretty sure all three of us," I gesture to myself, König, and Ghost with my hand, "have some sort of anxiety. He doesn't." Ghost turns to Charlie looking for an answer.

"Literally he's at the stage of enlightenment where he's above anxiety due to his own delusions and if it's crazy and embarrassing it's for the character development and drunken stories." König and Ghost give Charlie the most side eyes I have ever seen. There was full-on judgment, slight concern, and utter confusion. König looked over at me, worried.

"I am the main character—"

"Of what? A comedy?" I ask back, he turns and glares at me. "You're not as funny as Adam Sandler." His mouth fell open.

"If anyone is a main character it is me and it's a romance, I got three guys. If this was a k-drama you've got the childhood best friend second male lead that doesn't get the girl... or dies." Charlie got up and walked out of the room. He took a walk.

"Fuck you I hate your right," he said stopping in front of my door before continuing his pace, "how dare you! I'm a cozy romance main male love interest!" He shouts as he comes around again. I burst out laughing.

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