Echoes|| König x Reader x Ghost

74: Do You or Do You Not?

It's been about two weeks on the field, I felt like shit but that was second class to my dilemma of having two men like me. I am a confrontational woman, but the rejection was scary, especially giving it to two men who could simply break me. I sigh and look around, my hair greasy and unkempt, my clothes dirty and sweaty... how glamorous.

One thing I did appreciate between both men was their professionalism, on the field and base, they kept a class of decorum something I do lack. I walk next to Roach looking around for any signs. We had raided many cartel bases looking for Makarov with the help of some Los Vaqueros men.

We sat at the hideout Roach and König asleep. I sat awake in the moonlight staring at the moon. I always associated the son with Charlie from his warm tanned skin that always radiated heat to his honey-brown eyes and that smile that showed like the sun... But the moon was mine. It was solitary in its light, the thing that leads and protects. It was mine long before Charlie... but with him, it feels complete.

"Can't sleep?" I turn over to see Ghost walking towards me.

"Nah."

"You should try."

"Have you ever self so awake that you knew the next day you wouldn't be tired?" I ask back the moon in my sight. It was a full moon so wonderful and beautiful. There was nothing in the moon to see anything, but its beauty was wrong.

"No." I look down at him and give him a sad smile.

"I once spent nearly forty-six hours awake," I mused. It was the time me and Charlie traveled to Peru to look at Machu Picchu. "I crash one hour before the forty-sixth hour."

"Sleep is important," he simply said.

"I know but I'm not going to make myself panic over not sleeping, bad for my long-term health."

"... You don't seem stressed." He notes following my gaze to the moon.

"Your reliable." I see him nodding. I looked at him, his eyes were dark. Brow, not the color of honey, no they weren't the color of a wheat field nor the color of the setting sun; they were not the color of cinnamon— of dried oranges and dark autumn leaves. They were as dark as dried mud, as dark as leather, desert, and dusty... But like all brown eyes in the sun, they look golden brown, like good, braked bread.

"... Do you miss Charlie?" He asks his tone low and unsure.

"Nah I'm not that dependent on him I can't go a few months without him..." I hear Ghost let out a huff of amusement. "The moon has always been my friend, the only thing really constant in my life. What about you? Anything constant?" I turn my attention to him.

"War..." He said solemnly. I nod and study his posture. I think he's relaxed but it's hard to tell he's big and covered in stiff tactical wear.

"Mexico is very beautiful behind all this drug and violence," I mutter. I see Ghost nod at my words.

"Most countries are."

"I'm stiff surprised 141 wants me to stay on permanently, I'm not planning on making military my entire career," I mused it was one of the biggest shocks.

"You're a good sniper—"

"I'm saying it probably best to look for another member to join that's willing to do this long term once my time is up, I'm out!"

"Why?" I sense a sadness in his tone.

"I'm not a jarhead nor do I believe in this cult I'm in... I want to do so much more than to kill and see the worst in humanity. I like to be there to lift others."

ᔕᔕᔕ≼∴≽ᔕᔕᔕ

Ghost felt himself smiling. Though she claimed to never want other's lives on her shoulders she still looks out for her people in other ways. Deep down he knew she was a good person underneath all that hospitality... Even without empathy, she was considerate of others. Ghost looks down at his hands, trying to build up the courage to ask her out... maybe after this whole ordeal.

The two were so similar, yet so different. As Ghost decided to hide it, she decided to express it. Though the two options weren't bag it was clear neither truly got over their pain.

The more time he spent with her the more he realized she was more than the little bratty girl he first met. That outer layer of hostility was protecting a sensitive woman who was very observant of those around her.

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" She muses softly before sitting up and looking away flustered.

"Yes..." Ghost was confused by her turn of behavior it was like she was confessing something without even realizing she did.

"... have you ever been in love?" She asks him.

"I had a girlfriend that passed away..."

"...That's rough buddy." She mutters quietly before smacking her cheeks. "I... I'm sorry for your loss." She corrects herself.

"Why do you ask?"

"We're so similar so... I wonder if you also have a fear of commitment?" She brought up bashfully.

"I do." Ghost said she sighed and lay down staring up at the moon.

"I fear if I date someone not as fucked as me or anyone in general— I'm toxic and have lots of baggage. I feel if I date, I fuck up my partner badly and be their... toxic ex that gives them trauma." She confessed. Ghost has never once felt so seen by someone. She was just like him.

ᔕᔕᔕ≼∴≽ᔕᔕᔕ

If Charlie is the Sun. I say Ghost is the night. We were so similar yet different. We were like the same side of a coin... but too different coin. Me and Charlie are the same coin just different sides.

"Once again, you're very perceptive of yourself," Ghost said his eyes crinkling as he said it. I smiled and looked at the moon.

"I'm going to try to sleep," I said.

"Alright, good night."

The silence was deafening. I stared at the moon, not a winkle of exhaustion in my eyes or mind. I was wired to be awake, and I didn't bother to fight it. I felt like I had an impossible choice... Between two men and a friend, I could see the future.

A man who was so similar to me and another who was like the fresh mountains of a peaceful village. I could not predict a future with either of them, or that was the scariest part of it. Even if I like them... I choose security over happiness.

Security is what I need now... And only one person gives me that.

Charlie.