Y/N POV:
I walked into the building. It was still so new to me, but I waited my turn and was finally met with Dr. Diaz. I walked into the room with blue walls that just felt comforting.
I don't know what it is. The color is just so calming. It makes me feel peaceful. I didn't know a color could give off a vibe.
A lady entered the room. She just sat in a seat and explained how the questions she was going to ask were just required and would not be shared.
?: "Have you had any suicidal thoughts?"
Y/N: "No."
?: "Thoughts of harming yourself or others?"
Y/N: "No."
Blah, blah, blah, no, no, no.
Soon, she left, and I waited for Dr. Diaz. He finally walked into the room.
Dr. Diaz: "Hey sweetheart!"
He looked up at me, and he smiled.
Dr. Diaz: "You look stunning today!"
Y/N: "Thank you so much."
We started with smaller talk.
Dr. Diaz: "How have you been the past couple of months?"
Y/N: "It's been great. I have made such good friends, I like this guy, and we have all just been having a lot of fun."
Dr. Diaz: "That is amazing to hear! I'm so glad you are feeling better."
I smiled. At that moment, I thought about the last session and now. I am doing better. I am much happier. I have so many more people in my life who make me feel good about myself.
Dr. Diaz: "Okay, so, last session, you admitted to many unhealthy habits. How has that been going?"
I thought. I tried to count the months since my last relapse. My last time was my first time in my current house.
Y/N: "I'm six, almost seven months clean."
Diaz put his hands up and smiled brightly.
Dr. Diaz: "That is amazing! Half a year is an impressive milestone. You should be proud of that."
Y/N: "I am. I haven't really even thought about it lately."
Dr. Diaz: "That is fantastic. I am so proud of you."
The words hit. I barely knew him, but the way he acted and his energy made me feel comfortable. The words hit har. Itt had been so long since someone seemed genuinely proud of me.
Y/N: "I'm just in a better environment."
Dr. Diaz: "I'm glad you found where you belong."
After a while of talking about myself and my own problems and improvements, he found a way to make it deeper.
Dr. Diaz: "Body image? Can you tell me more about that."
Y/N: "Uhm. Well, I'm not sure how to explain, but there are times when I feel great. I'm with my friends, having fun and not caring about a thing. But for some reason, my own thoughts kick in. I am caring about everyone else, but when I finally care about myself, it's so negative. "
Dr. Diaz: "And those thoughts?"
Y/N: "They are so negative. I always make this image of my body. As if I'm disgusting. My hips are too wide, or my stomach isn't flat enough, or my shoulders are too wide. I don't know."
Nothing was said for a moment. Dr. Diaz was thinking.
Dr. Diaz: "When people say 'our biggest enemy is ourselves.' They mean our mind. You can be the happiest, healthiest, and kindest person, but your mind is always trying to bring you down. And that's why we work harder or we give up. But why would you let yourself give up?"
He took a moment.
Dr. Diaz: "People will argue and fight with others that try to bring them down, but will give up when it's themselves. We all think that health and happiness are found in helping others. We believe that to the point we forget about ourselves. So by the time we finally remember ourselves, we haven't fixed anything. So we see ourselves negatively, like always."
Dr. Diaz: "Our minds must be our biggest enemy, but you are them only one that controls it. Think about yourself more. And when I say that, I mean fix your mindset, not your physical appearance. If you try to fix your appearance but not your mindset, you will never be happy with yourself."
I took the words in. Everything he said came at me like I was just stupid for not thinking it.
Y/N: "But how am I supposed to improve my own thoughts?"
Dr. Diaz: "Replace them with positives. I know people say that kind of stuff a lot, but at least try, don't ignore what is said to you."
Y/N: "Okay."
___
^774 words
Filler chapter, I have a big one coming...
Recs:
Over 6k reads. Genuinely, thank you so much, I never knew how big this book would be. Thank you guys so much for the positive comments. I love it when yall comment. <3 ^
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Not So Easy. Johnnie Guilbert × Reader
FanfictionYou are a 24 year old female struggling with mental health issues. Although of these problems, you try to be the best you, you can be. You haven't had a relationship in a while, you just want to find "the one". And who will that be? Will it be easy...
