Shubish- oneshots of two cuties

Ye pyaar nahi toh kya hai?

(Ishan's dialogues will be in italics.
Shubman's dialogues will be in bold.)

Ishan's pov

As I stood there, all dressed up, I looked around at my surroundings. I wanted to cry, I wanted to run away, I wanted to go far far away from here, some place where all of this wouldn't haunt me anymore. Some place safe. But most importantly I wanted to run into his arms. He was my safe space. And suddenly all I wished was to be in his arms. But I instantly let go off that thought, reprimanding myself for such thoughts. I couldn't think about all of that, not here.

As I fixed the non-existent creases in my already spotless sherwani. All I could think about was how to remain calm, because this time I wouldn't have him here with me to help me with my panic attacks. I wouldn't have his presence to calm me down. As I looked up I saw him enter the hall and all I could think about was how his presence here would be the reason of my panic attack. He would be the reason I couldn't stay calm anymore. His presence would never be calming ever again. Despite being so close to him, despite seeing him, I couldn't run to him anymore.

He looked up suddenly and we made eye contact but I instantly looked away not being able to handle the intensity, knowing I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from running to him if I looked in his eyes any longer. I went towards the bar and downed a couple drinks, wiping away a few tears, when I felt someone approaching me. I looked up just in time to see Hardik bhai seating himself next to me. He looked like he was contemplating about something and I just observed him for a while, wiping away the remnants of my tears, until I got tired of the wait and finally asked.

"What is it bhaiya?"
He looked at me surprised and after recovering from the initial shock asked,
"What's wrong Ishu?"
"You're asking me that like you don't know what's wrong bhaiya."
"I want to hear it from you. I have heard everyone else's versions of the story, but not yours or Shubman's."
I was silent for a while, hearing his name had done something to me. I contemplated on how to answer this question, until I realized it was Hardik bhai. He was the first person I told when I realized I was gay. He had always been there and supported me through everything.
"Main usse pyaar kar baitha, yahi meri galti thi."
"Were you guys dating?"
"No."
"Are you sure, ki tu usse pyaar karta hai? Maybe it was just an attraction."

"Agar ye pyaar nahi hai, toh meri aankhein kyu uske liye ro rahi hai?
Agar ye pyaar nahi hai, toh mai har pal uske baarein mai kyu sochta hoon?
Agar ye pyaar nahi hai, toh mai usse paane ke sapne kyu dekhta hoon?
Agar ye pyaar nahi hai, toh mai usse apni har dua mai kyu shaamil karta hoon?
Agar ye pyaar nahi hai, toh mai kyu rabb se sirf usse maangta hu?
Agar ye pyaar nahi hai, toh aur kya hai?"

"If you loved him so much, maybe you should've fought for him harder."
"Duniya se toh ladd leta bhaiya, par usse kaise ladta?"
"Kya matlab?"
"After everyone saw us kissing, I was not given a chance to play in the team. Usse lagta tha ki woh uski galti hai."
"Actually kya hua tha?"
"It probably was the reason I was dropped from the team. He's the prince and they didn't want me to ruin his career by staying around him."
"Toh he decided it was the best choice to just marry someone else?"

I looked up to try and find him in the crowd but upon failing to do so, I looked back at bhaiya and said,
"He didn't want my career to be ruined because of him."
"But did he not know? That for you, he is more important than your career?"
"Even if he did, he would've still chosen the easy way out bhaiya. When his parents found out about us, they gave him two options, either to marry Sara or to never see their faces again. Even if he was more important than my career, for me. His parents were more important than me, for him."