Just friends? pt4

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(Ishan's dialogues will be in italics.
Shubman's dialogues will be in bold.)

Ishan's pov

"What do you mean?"
I looked at him waiting for him to elaborate but when I got only silence in return, I spoke up again.
"Shub, you tried your best. You did really well baby."
He didn't respond as he looked deep in thought.

"Shub... look at me."
He finally looked up at me and I saw him looking vulnerable and dejected. I instantly wrapped my arms around him and started comforting him.
"You did really well. Your first season as captain and you took your team to the finals baby. Please don't cry."

"That is not the reason I'm crying Ishan."
I knew he hadn't been calling me with those affectionate and cute nicknames he always used to, but it was because he was mad. Right?
"What?"
"Ishan I thought about it a lot and I think we need to take a break."
"From what? I already took a break from cricket Shub and you're already in great form you don't need-"

"I meant from our relationship Ishan."

"What?"
"Let's take a break from our relationship Ishan."
"I heard you the first time."
"Then why did you ask?"
I was annoyed. I was mad. But more importantly I was heart broken. I couldn't lose him. I can't. I love him too much.
"Are you breaking up with me?"
I said as a few tears escaped my eyes falling onto his hands as he still sat on the bed. He looked at the tear drops on his hand before looking back up at me.

"No Ishan, I just think we need a break from each other."
"I don't need a break from you."
He gently took my face in his hands and wiped the tears off my face, with his thumbs.
"We can't even communicate Ishan, we weren't like this. It used to be so easy."
"So what now? Will you just stop speaking to me? Just because it's not easy anymore?"

"No. We need to learn how to be friends again first. I would never give up on you, on us."
"So what we'll be 'just friends' now?"
"Until we learn to communicate again, yes."
"Shubman we can communicate right now, talk to me, instead of pushing me away and asking me for a break."
"I'm not pushing you away Ishan. We just need to learn how to communicate again and we can't do it if we keep fighting. When we were friends, we had no problem communicating."

"So what are you saying you regret being my boyfriend? We have been boyfriends for two fucking years Shub. We were communicating just fine until three months ago."
"I would never regret being your boyfriend Ishan." he sighs loudly.
"See? This is what I'm talking about. You can't even understand why I'm doing this."
"Yes!! I don't understand it, because it's pointless."
"I've already decided Ishan."

I gave him a pained look, another series of tears leaving my eyes as I said,
"So what? I don't even get a say in my own relationship?"
"This is best for the both of us."
"And who are you to decide that?"
"Your boyfriend."
"I thought we were 'just friends' now?"
"Ishan please."
"Fine, break up with me. Do whatever the fuck you want!!"

"I'm not breaking up with you Ishan please, and I don't wanna fight. This is the main reason I wanted this break, we can't even understand each other anymore and we fight all the time."
"How is 'taking a break' any different than a break up?"
"It just is."
"Fine."
I turned around to walk out of the room, not wanting to break down in front of him, but he held my wrist stoppng me.

"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to crash with Yuzi bhai or Jaiswal."
"Why?"
"Because I don't wanna be spending the night with my ex boyfriend."
"We did not break up-"
"Sorry, my 'just friend'."
"Ish please."
He pleaded with me, giving me a pained look, a look which gave away everything. He had also called me 'Ish' for the first time after our fight, or series of fights whatever.

He looked upset and he was holding his tears back. He didn't want to do this either, he didn't want to be 'just friends' with me. But he was doing this for us. He didn't want us to be like this. He wanted us to be like we used to be and he didn't know any other way to fix this. So I complied. I gave into him and trusted his decision and went to settle in the bed, next to him. We slept at a little distance from each other. It felt weird because we were so used to cuddling, but I didn't want to ruin his efforts of trying to go back to the way we were, so I stayed put.

I was about to turn around, not wanting to face him and watch his beautiful face and cry again because of the situation we were in, but before I could turn, Shub pulled me closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me while I looked up at him, confused.
"What? We used to cuddle when we were 'just friends' too."
I just rolled my eyes in disbelief that he was already making jokes about this and snuggled more into him inhaling his scent and feeling comforted, as I fell asleep.

The next day, we had woken up late, since we had a couple days off before having to join the team for the T20 World Cup practice. We spent our days off not doing much, just hanging out with the other members and bonding as ordered by our Captain, Rohit bhaiya. He had wanted the T20 squad to have a proper team bonding session, before practice started and so that's what we had done. I had spent most of my time with Hardik bhaiya and Virat bhaiya, obviously along with Shub.

Not much changed between Shub and I except that we didn't really fight anymore since we were 'just friends' again. Though the arguments were constant because that is just how we were. We argued and we liked arguing with each other. Things sometimes got a little awkward since we tried to maintain some physical distance between us, obviously since we couldn't act like we used to when we were boyfriends but overall we didn't change too much, atleast not enough for anyone else to notice.

We had started to slowly build back the understanding again, not really needing words to communicate, but he was the one that had decided for us to take a break and so I couldn't really say much on the topic of us dating again. I also had this fear, that if we started dating again, this new found understanding or more like old and now re-found understanding between us would be lost again and so with that thought I let it be. We had started practicing a couple days back and tired from practice we didn't really do anything else except eat and sleep.

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Ye part late aaya yosoy_sina ki waja se blame her not me.
(Usne bola tha gaali dene ke baad hi update karungi mai lagta hai and then usne gaali hi nai di mujhe)

Also ye oneshot kuch zyada hi long horaha hai so I'll try to end it.

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