Marble Hornets OneShots

Jays Bad Coping Mechanisms (TW)

Tw for alcoholism

As Jay stared out the window, he couldn't help but feel the itch to reach into his bag in the backseat and grab the bottle of whiskey he knew was buried in it. Jay shook his head before rubbing his eyes. He couldn't wait to get out of the car and be able to indulge for a while. Tim made a slight sound of discouragement, and Jay looked over to the driver's seat. "Yeah?" Tim paused before responding. "We have one more gas stop before we make it to the hotel, is that alright or will that mess up the schedule too much?"

Jay paused before looking out the window again, and the clock. "I mean, we did say before dark so I think it should be ok." Tim nodded slowly. "Alright." The two sat in silence for a while longer until Jay contorted his position. Tim let out a small sound that sounded of disbelief and Jay turned to him again. "What?" Tim sighed and gestured to how Jay was sitting. "What? This is comfortable?" Tim rolled his eyes and sighed. "Human bodies are not supposed to contort that way, Jay." Jay rolled his eyes, and let out a small scoff before purposely contorting his legs more, to where he was sitting criss crossed, and he was sitting on his ankles. "This better?" "No!" Tim exclaimed as Jay burst out laughing.

Tim shot Jay a glare and Jay managed out the words "okay, okay" as he moved into a normal sitting position. The small conversation was a good distraction from his itch, but as he tapped threes onto his thigh, he found himself wondering when he could just stop thinking. Thinking was turning into a dangerous thing for him to do, as the last time he tried to think for too long, and stayed sober he had had a panic attack that Tim had to calm him down from. Jay would never forgive himself for making Tim feel forced to comfort him. Tim would insist he never felt forced, but how did Jay know that he was telling the truth.

How did he know that anyone was telling the truth. How was he so certain that ToTheArk was telling the truth. That Alex isn't lying, that Alex was even lying at all.

Jay hadn't noticed he was digging his nails into his skin until he felt the car stop. Quickly, he moved his hand away from his thigh and turned to Tim. Tim gave a reassuring smile, and left the car, leaving Jay alone in the passenger seat. Jay paused for a few minutes, simply trying to gauge whether or not the spirits would make him panic more, before determining that if it did, at least he wouldn't remember anything that had happened. Climbing into the back, Jay took the bottle out and opened it, before taking a drink out of it.

Jay felt the comfortable fuzz take over his mind, and Jay smiled softly before taking another drink, and then another. After his third, he put the bottle back and climbed back into the passenger seat, just staring out of the window while waiting for Tim to come back. He thought back to high school, back when he had met Alex.

He was rather scrawny, perhaps even scrawnier than Jay at that time, and he seemed rather excited that Jay was even talking to him. Jay had rolled his eyes and tried to ignore him, but Alex had seemed to show up everywhere. And once summer break had ended, and Alex was in a majority of his classes, Jay definitely felt like blowing a casket. And he almost had when Alex had walked up to him in between periods and asked him what he was writing. Jay had tried to avoid to question, but then noticed the camera in his hand.

'Ironic' Jay thinks to himself. 'Our friendship started and ended over cameras.' Jay let out a soft scoff. Thinking back on highschool, he recalls all the things that Jay had introduced Alex to that he definitely should not have. The only thing that really stayed consistent with Alex was the smoking. Jay snickered as he remembered the first time Alex went through withdrawal during college, swearing a storm up at Jay for getting him latched onto it. Amy looked very confused until Jay had quipped back "It's not my fault you got addicted, it's my fault you were introduced to it."