Salubrious (Jason McCann)

Chapter 17

Jason's POV

One week and four days

Sadness, loneliness, unhappiness, complete and utter quietness. That sums up all of what I've been going through this past week at this place of a hospital. The longer Malarie stays in that Godforsaken coma, the more my spirit is breaking into trillions and trillions of small pieces. I make an effort to stay positive as much as I can, though how am I suppose to when the woman I love is laying in a hospital bed in deep unconsciousness. Every time I come visit my sweetheart, I almost suddenly feel nothing but desolate and bereft.

Even though I said I didn't want to be some sensitive pussy named Justin. I believe I've turned into him, and I hate it. I'm depressed and stressed the hell out. I've gone into my soft spoken, quiet mode, and I don't know how to come out of it. I know I'm supposed to be strong for us, but I'm a weakling and everyone knows it. They treat me far differently when I turn into "soft, fragile" Jason. They shower me in nothing but sympathetic filled hugs, talks, and comfort. Yet when I'm "tough, hard ass" Jason, everyone wants to give me my space. It's like my family and friends know when they're needed, and when they're not.

"Jason, did you eat something today?" Will, Mal's father asks me, concern written on his face. "No, I'm not hungry." I reply, aloof from everything around me... except for rhythmic taps of my foot on the floor.

"You need to eat, or at least drink something, Jason. You haven't once touched, nor drank anything the whole three in a half hours I have been here. Surely you must be starving." He nicely urges, giving me a small smile. "I'm just not hungry, William." I admit, speaking in my new found soften voice.

"Okay then, but you should eat something, just so you won't pass out from the lack of food and fluids in your system." He mumbles, patting me on my back. "I will, I promise you that." I softly murmur, holding my head down low.

"Don't worry about a thing, she will be just fine. You have to stay positive, son. Malarie is a strong girl- well woman, but she'll always be my little girl. She's a fighter, just like when your father made her lose her memory a couple years back. She was a fighter then, and she's still a fighter now, and so are you, Jason." He speaks nice words of encouragement, making me feel slightly better.

For the next thirty minutes or so, me and William talk amongst each other, as we look at a football game on the hospital TV provided for Mal's room. Several nurses and brain doctors came to check on her current state... still the same. Just sleeping, as life moves on, leaving her behind. I silently prayed she wouldn't stay in this coma for twenty years, just like Justin in the movie Kickin' It Old School. He still thought it was a certain era, when he woke up as an older man. I don't want my baby to wake up, and see herself as a forty one year old woman. That would literally put her back into a coma. I don't want that at all.

Again, the doctors informed me and her father she had lots of brain activity, and is breathing on her own still. But just for precautionary reasons, they want to keep her on a breathing mask. William and me both hated that idea, but we didn't put up a fight. We simply set back and listen to what the doctors had to say about her. On the weirdness note, she began her period... completely scaring the shit out of me and Will. I thought she just started bleeding for no apparent reason, little did we know, mother nature paid her a visit. So it was a either a diaper, or a pad thing for her. I chose the pad thing, just in case she does wake up, she doesn't feel embarrassed about wearing a diaper. But hell no, I wasn't putting it on her, I'm sorry but no.

"Since her menstrual has began, we'll check up on her every hour so we can clean her up." An older woman explained to the two of us, as we awkwardly nod looking around. "I'll be leaving you to watch my daughter as she gets cleaned up." William chuckles, as I look at him like he was insane.