The Letter

Day 13

Day 13

Have you ever been so numb, that even the simplest things standing in front of you, don’t make sense. You can stare at it for hours and you’ll still wonder its existence. As I sit on the motel room floor and stare at the down, I can’t help but question things around me.

 Why am I in a motel, you wonder, when I could be in a fancy hotel? Yes, I agree, I could be in the most expensive hotel right now, but I begged Sebastian to go to a motel. I didn’t want to scare of the rich people with the empty look I had on my face, the death glare I would probably give them. So here I am, sitting on a dusty old motel room, staring off to random things.

My eyes burn into the entrance rug; I can’t take me eyes off of it. My back leaning against the wall, is my only support in life; after everything I’ve been through, the only thing that seems to be running through my mind is the stupid rug in front of me.

Why do we even need a rug? Is it really necessary to have it in every home in the world? The center of the rug is filled with dirt, from all the people who have stepped on it before; I can surely relate to that.  While the corners of it seem to give off the bright colors, which I’m pretty sure the center once held. I look at the rug with pity; I can say that I too am a human rug. Being stepped on by so many people, especially the ones I once held dear; being hurt so much that inside me, I am full of dirt; yet I must smile for society, just like the lie of the corners of the rug.

“Victoria, please talk to me” I hear Sebastian plead, “I’m not leaving until you talk to me”

I see him in the corner of my, standing by the window staring at me; trying to get an emotion, reaction, or anything human out of me. Unfortunately for him, I keep staring at the rug, not once acknowledging his presence.

“Vict…”

I block him out, not wanting to hear his voice anymore. My thoughts return towards the rug once again. My knees are pressed against my chest and I bring them closer, wanting to get away from him as much as possible. I feel like the rug can catch on fire in any moment now, my empty gaze must be driving it crazy. My chest rises and falls at a constant rate, following a pattern for over two hours; my breathing is deep and hollow but it never gets out of rhythm. I must look psychotic right now, staring with an empty expression on my face at a stupid old rug.

I hear a phone ring, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Hello?” I hear Sebastian’s voice irritated, “I know I’m late to the meeting. Just tell my dad I can’t make it today, sorry.” I hear a muffled voice speaking on the other line, but I can’t make out the words.

“WHAT? What do you mean Mr. Hauser is there?” He exclaims, “He is not supposed to be near my client!” A moment passes by, and his voice seems more irritated than before, “I can’t believe this, fine I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” He hangs up and sighs deeply. I can feel his gaze burning through me, but I refuse to move my eyes from the rug.

I seem him walk over to my bag and pull out my phone, my curiosity starts an inner battle within me. Somehow I win and refuse to give him a glance, I keep my eyes directly to the rug; yet I can see he is typing something on my phone. He puts it back into my bag and goes towards his bed, where his coat is laid out. I can hear the rain outside the door, banging against the window, begging to be let in. He puts on his coat and grabs his briefcase and walks towards me.