Bullied (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 11

(Sorry that I didn't write yesterday - but here's the next chapter :) enjoy xx)

Lucy's POV

I think this is the worst pain ever. It is worse than being bullied. It feels like someone is cutting my heart. I want him. But he will never want me. He don't want to be together with me. He is afraid of the others. They don't like me so they won't like him. It hurts so much if you want a person you can't have.

The others are more important to him than me. And I can't even be angry of him. I understand him. But I want him.

Is it possible that this pain will stop one day? It feels like it hurts more every second as I'm thinking about him.

It was all just a dream. A dream that I could be together with someone I love. The way we hugged. The way we kissed. The way we looked at each other. The way he spoke to me. It can't be over.

It sounds like I was in a relationship with him for a few months or even longer. I don't know why it hurts so much even if we haven't even been together. Maybe it's because I've had too much hope once again.

Maybe it's because he was my hero for a few weeks. I saw hope in him. I gave him a promise to not cut again. And I didn't break the promise until now. I was just happy for a few weeks. I just thought about him and a smile escaped my lips.

And now it's like I woke up. He won't be together with me. NEVER. Why is reality so hard? Why?

I just don't know what to think. Is my hope gone? Yeah. Because he will never be here again. He will never do the things again.

Is the promise over now? I don't want to cut again. Not because of him. But just because I felt strong for a time. Stronger than ever before. But I don't know how to stand all this pain.

I'm not allowed to cut again. I'm not allowed to do it. I'm... shit. Too late.

Blood escapes my wrist as I break down in tears. I can't do it anymore. No one will ever love me as much as I love him. I want to be strong. I don't want to go trough this again. But I can't. I don't know how long I can stand this.

I just want to die.

 

(Hey guys!! I wrote that story like two years ago and now I'm editing some parts of it - my english was a mess and I'm not that happy with some parts but I just wanted you to let you know, that PLEASE, don't ever do anything what Lucy is doing with herself. If you need help, reach out for it. I will be there - and so many other people are as well. I promise that you are loved. And those coping mechanism like cutting... they don't really help you at all. Stay strong everybody, I love you all x)