I Promise, I'm Not a Stalker.

Chapter 9

TW.

I stabbed the broccoli that was on my plate but then just scraped it back off again, almost accidentally flicking it onto the hard wood floor, but luckily it stayed on my plate. Nobody was talking or daring to look at each other. My mom broke the silence with a cough, I looked up at her out of the corner of my eyes.

“So how was school today?” She shoved some spaghetti in her mouth.

“Fine.” I shrugged.

“Are you still working at that coffee shop down the street?” My dad asked.

I glanced at him. “No.” I said simply sipping some water.

“You need to get another job then.” He decided for me.

I set the cup down a little harder then I probably should have. “I have a job.”

“Oh? And what’s that?” He set down his fork waiting for me to answer.

“You know, my YouTube stuff.” I answered.

He scoffed almost, “You mean that silly comedy thing?” He asked.

I felt a lump in my throat. I could feel my mom staring at us watching this all happen.

“Yes, the silly YouTube thing.” I quoted through my teeth.

“I don’t think that’s a proper job for a young lady.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin.

I pursed my lips and crossed my legs, “Oh really,” I raised my voice a little bit more confident, “and why is that?” I turned towards him.

“Well, when I’m at business meetings all of my associates are talking about their lawyer sons and doctor daughters, what am I supposed to say? That my daughter is some sort of clown?” He rolled his eyes and answered as if it was so obvious.

I squinted my eyes glaring at him, “A clown? I’d rather be a clown then be stuck in a dead end job where I never get to see my family and all I care about is what people think of me.” I shot back at him looking him straight in the eye.

 He raised a bushy eyebrow, “What I do is completely necessary, what you do,” he let out a small chuckle, “It’s completely useless, you don’t contribute anything to society.” He took a sip of his wine.

I felt something sting at the back of my throat and tried swallowing it.

 “I beg to differ.” I almost whispered.

He shook his head, “Useless.”

I slammed my fork down on the table and pushed my chair out from under me. I looked at him right in the face before I stormed off up the stairs, I was about to turn and go into my bedroom but something redirected me to the bathroom. I slammed the door loudly and locked it with a click. I could feel my heart beating in anger and adrenaline. I paced around the small bathroom for a second then stopped, I felt my breathing stop also. I opened the draw and shuffled some things around before I saw the familiar small box, I swallowed and opened it. I moved around carefully some of the necklace chains before I finally exposed the small sharp edged silver object. I took it out carefully making sure not to accidentally cut my finger.

I leaned against the white door and slid down, everything in my head was screaming at me to just get it over with. I shuffled around trying to get some what comfortable but I couldn’t, I reached into my back pocket to remove my phone so it wasn’t so hard on my butt. I set it down next to me and let out a shaky breath, I shivered and rolled up my sweater sleeve and began taking off some of the bracelets. I traced my finger over the silvery skin from where I had done it previously. I looked at the blade once more which I had set next to my phone, I glanced at my phone, then to the razor, phone, razor.