Bri.
I walked in and out of my closest, throwing shit into my suitcase for my trip to New York. I was nervous!
I was nervous about a lot of things.
This trip, meeting the vendors, letting Chris watch my baby, keeping my composure around Chris so that Reign doesn't become a big sister, and not letting my guard down around him so easily.
What almost happened that night would've set me back. I can't let that happen.
At least not right now.
He gotta prove to me that's he's capable of changing! That's why I'm hoping that he does great while watching Reign because that'll show me some type of improvement and it won't feel like I'm setting myself up again.
I really do miss him but I gotta be cautious. This is my heart that's on the line.
"Mommy do you think this shirt is appropriate for a business meeting?" I walked out my closet with a brand new shirt that I just found.
She sat on the bed holding Reign.
"Yes, that is very pretty."
"I forgot all about this shirt."
"You're only going to be in New York for 3 days and you've packed at least 10 outfits. You don't need all of this shit!"
"I like to have options ma! I might be feeling that outfit right now but when I get there I'll change my mind." I threw some more shit into my suitcase. "I need to hire somebody to do this for me."
"I think you're just nervous."
"I'm not."
"Child, I gave birth to you...I know when you're nervous."
"You know I just hate failing. I put a lot of work into this line and I know how important it is."
"Don't stress yourself out Sabrina. This idea is amazing and so different. I love that the working woman was your muse for this line and not Instagram thots!"
I laughed. She wants to be down so bad.
"Who told you about Instagram Thots?" I asked.
"I know shit! Don't try to play me like I'm old."
"Okay granny."
"I went to go see your Yaya the other day and that's all the kids were talking about."
My Yaya! I love her so much. She's my mothers, mother. She barely knows English and even she tries to speak English it comes out so wrong and I can't help but laugh.
"I have to take Reign to see her. We haven't been over since my princess was a little baby." I bent down and started kissing those chunky cheeks.
"So is Chris ready to watch her?" My mom asked.
"I hope so....he knows that he's in deep shit so I don't think he's going to mess up this time around."
"Yeah....I hope he gets it together."
"The last thing I want to do is limit his relationship with his daughter but he really hasn't given me much of a choice."
"I know this is tuff for you guys. You guys were best friends and now look what you're dealing with."
"We fell in love. I wish things didn't take a bad turn like they have but stuff happens."
"Sabrina I know you're trying to be this strong woman but I know you miss him."
