Fluorescents

24

" Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness."

Claire's CD album of The Fray plays in the background of the bus as we come to a sudden halt and I look up from my phone and gaze at Claire who is putting her hair into a braid. She doesn't bother looking back at me, too involved in the craft of her hair.

"We're here." Shay says her sudden voice startling me. The three hour drive to Seattle consisted of us simply gazing down at our phones, shutting our eyes to take short naps, or small conversations here and there so when she finally speaks up after a while I find myself being unfamiliar with her voice. She must be referring to the hotel, finally we arrived.

During the concert last night I decided to not pay too much attention and I simply stayed backstage and walked around speaking to the other specialists, trying my very best to drown out Alex's voice. Once the show was over and we finished packing everything from the show it was around midnight and the bands stayed in their hotel while we stayed on our bus. We woke up at around six in the morning, in order to take the shortest drive so far, and arrive here at around 9. The time the hotel told us they would have the rooms ready.

I look at Shay who is a couple feet away from me, kneeling on the buses couch and looking out the window. Her face presses against it and she continues looking out of it before laying back on the couch and gazing at me with a guilty look on her face. What's wrong? What did she see? I raise my eyebrows at her and she shrugs her shoulders before looking at her finger nails and picking at her cuticles. I roll my eyes and push her shoulder slightly.

" Tell me." I urge and she shrugs her shoulder again. I can tell she's trying to hide something from me and I'm sure it's not anything good. I push her slightly again and she groans before looking away from her fingernails and staring back at me with the same guilty expression.

" I saw lover boy-" she says, referring to Derek, and I nod, waiting for her to continue. " With the tall blonde chick." She says mentioning Lauren. Last night after the show we hadn't seen Lauren arrive to the bus but we knew that she was called for. We didn't worry much but now knowing that she was with Derek irks me. Ultimately it is there lives and they can do whatever they want, but the way that Derek just simply stopped talking to me and left everything between us so unresolved bothers me and makes me overthink everything he does. Shay comes up next to me and rubs my back before laying her head on my shoulder, trying her best to comfort me. She must think I'm so distraught right now. But I'm not. Ultimately it is their lives and I could care less what they decide to do with it. " You ok?" She asks and I nod my head. Me and Derek never had anything official, we weren't even to the point of knowing if we really wanted something from one another. But the fact that he just stopped talking to me all of a sudden keeps making me think about him and what I did wrong. Shay continues to rub my back and I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly. "We don't love these hoes." She says in a quiet and soft tone and I can't help but let out a loud laugh that almost sounds like a snort. Both of us laugh and Clair laughs along with us from the other side of the couch.

" Can you guys shut up." Amy shouts coming from the bunks. We all stop laughing and gaze up at the enraged petite blonde. Her face leaves an angry residue but the only difference I notice is the fact that her face looks completely different without makeup.

" Sorry princess." Shay says looking up at her with a clearly fake smile. Amy looks down at her and opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted. " But don't forget you're only an assistant here, so go on and get the boys some coffee or even suck some dick if you want but don't come around and tell us what to do." Shay says and me and Clair's mouths hang wide open in utter shock. Shay gives her a wider fake smile before speaking up again. " Ok princess?" She says as more of a demand. Amy scoffs and runs off the bus like a child, Shay waving her off when she reaches the door and opens it. " Bye bitch." Shay says before the door shuts.