Fluorescents

31

" I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on"

I hum along to the song I set up on my portable Bluetooth speaker as I rustle through my bag and pull out my outfit for the day. I decide to go for a pair of light wash jeans that are cuffed at the bottom, a black & silver belt, a black checkered top and some black casual Doc Martens. After I saw the comfortable bathroom, Alex's offer became much more appealing and I accepted. I then quickly made my way down to the bus and searched for clothes and of course my portable speakers, I'm a music enthusiast of course I would bring portable speakers.

" What you doing?" Amy startles me as she makes her way onto the bus. I look back at her for a solid second, before continuing to rustle through my bag.

" Just looking for some clothes." I tell her and she nods her head as if uninterested. She probably only asked to not seem rude. Or maybe she just has a short attention span and didn't care enough to hear my answer

" You're not gonna take a shower?" She asks after a while and I nod my head. Maybe she is interested. Or just nosey. Why would she ask if I was gonna take a shower? Didn't we already make a pit stop?

" I missed the pit stop so one of the band mates is gonna let me use their bathroom ." I inform her and I turn around with my clothes in my hand and I watch as her eyebrows furrow.

" Who?" She asks quickly, more than curiosity in her tone. She's being extremely nosey but I don't have the energy to call her out for it. I don't need anymore drama in my life currently.

" Alex." I tell her and she nods her head vigorously and her face retorts as if she's bothered with my response. She shouldnt be. The only reason I accepted his offer is so I could actually take a shower. I have some dignity and I know that I can't let Alex get his way.

" Well we haven't taken a pit stop." She says and this time I'm the confused one. We didn't? Alex lied to me. My anger rises and I want to call him out for it. But I can't. The hotel bathrooms are so much better than the showers in the pit stops.

I nod my head before reaching for my clothes and giving her a wave when I walk out. As I turn away I catch a glimpse of her rolling her eyes but I push it to the side and make my way to Alex's room. Again, I don't have the energy to endure more drama. I just want to get through this tour as smoothly as possible.

When I'm finally in front of Alex's room I knock on the door and before I can blink the door is open. A wide grin makes it way to his lips but it doesn't stay very long before he covers over it and steps to the side so I can enter. I try my best to ignore his unrude behavior towards me and stay quiet.

" Do you have everything?" he asks and I simply nod my head and look around the room as if I've never seen it before. I'm trying to avoid looking at him as much as possible. " No makeup?" He asks as he gazes at the assortment of items I'm holding. I shake my head and he looks shocked with the fact that I wear no makeup. Most people usually are when I tell them or when they see that I don't wear makeup. Im not a big fan of it. I prefer a completely natural look.  " Why not?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders trying my best to keep our conversation at a minimum. I'm still on the edge with everything that has happened between us. Not to mention the fact that he lied to me is really bothering me. I want to call him out but I really don't want to ruin the chance of taking a shower in an actual bathroom. " Well I ordered you some more towels." He randomly says before reaching for a pile of towels on the desk that came along with the room. He ordered me more towels. How nice of him? I set my stuff down on the bed and reach over for the towels. They're softer and warmer than I expected and I can't help but admire the floral scent radiating from them. He surely asked for ones that were just washed. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe I'm overthinking and I'm just lucky to have gotten the newly washed ones.

" Thanks." I tell him and he almost unnoticeably smiles at me before making his way towards the bathroom. I quickly reach for my clothes on the bed and toss them on top of the towels before following him.

" The shampoos are in the shower, so just let me know if you need anything." He says and I nod my head before setting the towels and my clothes down on the counter. He stays in the bathroom for a little while longer and watches me as I look around at the space. I gaze at him from the corner of my eye and he combs his hand through his hair as I move around. I clear my throat in hopes that he takes it as his cue to leave. Gladly he does and he quickly and briskly grins at me before stepping out. What is his problem? He's so odd. One second he's being smug and rude then the next he's being kind and helpful. I don't know what to expect from him anymore.

Once I'm finally alone I begin to strip. I remove my hair from the bun and reach for my phone in my hoodies pocket and pull up the music app. Once I find a song I look up to find my speakers but am left searching for something that clearly isn't anywhere to be found. I groan to myself before setting my phone back down on the counter and pulling a towel from the rack. I wrap it around my body and slightly open the door. I peek out in order to make sure the room is vacant and surely enough it is so I decide to step out. I was hoping it would be empty and I wouldn't have to change back into my clothes. Thank god it is.

I make my way outside of the bathroom and gaze around the room. I layed all my stuff down on the bed but when I look on the bed it isn't there. Where could it be? Maybe it fell. I kneel down and gaze at the bottom of the bed and surely enough it is there. I reach for the speakers and my body extends across the carpet as I move. I feel the towel rise from behind and a breeze hit my lower body. Luckily I'm alone.

The door creaks from behind me and soon enough I'm taken away from my reassuring state. My heart stops as I hear the door behind me open and my breath hitches in my throat when I hear footsteps. They quickly stop and I can feel the presence of someone standing behind me, gazing. I quickly lift myself up, sure to cover my body before gazing back at Alex. I clear my throat as he stands there with his mouth parted open and his eyes bulging out of their sockets. He doesn't bother to be subtle and gazes at my body completely. I'm wearing a towel but I feel so exposed standing in front of him like this.

" I, I was looking for my uhm speakers." I stutter and he doesn't react to my voice before looking away from my body and gazing up at my face. " It's under the bed." I say pointing down at the bottom of the bed. He doesn't bother to respond before making his way towards me. My breath hitches in my throat once again as he now stands only inches away from me. I wait for his touch to land on me but am quickly disappointed when he kneels down and reaches for my speakers under the bed. As he lifts his head from under the bed his eyes land on my exposed legs and I watch as they travel up my calves and in between my towel. I clear my throat and he quickly reverts his attention away and lifts himself up. He hands me the speakers and turns away from me. He runs both his hands through his hair and stays quiet while shuffling back and forth in his spot.

I want to know what he's thinking. I want to know what's going on in his mind at this very instant. I've never seen him so quiet. So out of control. He always seems to be in control of himself and the people around him but at this very moment he seems lost. Lost in his own head. In his own thoughts. What could such a man be thinking? He has been such a mystery to me. Such a puzzle.

He turns around and his eyes land on my body once more. He continues gazing at my body before his eyes land on my face and he looks down. My mind continues to wander as he glides his tongue across his lips and clears his throat.

" Derek is waiting for you downstairs." He tells me, barging out before I can respond or react. My heart rate decreases but my puzzlement only increases. Why would he mention Derek to me? Only seconds ago he was looking at me the way an animal looks at its prey and I can't help but admit that I enjoyed it. He has always seemed on the edge about anything regarding Derek. Why would he bother to inform me of Derek searching for me downstairs?

My mind wanders as I decide to continue with my efforts to take a shower. I enter the bathroom once again and quickly delve into the shower, trying my best to cleanse the stress embedded in my shoulders and neck. I rub over the areas and my fingertips graze my hips as I recall the grace of his hands as they laid on my body only moments before. How does he do this? I was warned before of his intentions and the type of person he is yet my mind and body seem to be lured towards him.