Fluorescents

32

" No one knows that's how it goes,
All the thoughts that we transpose."

Shay's boyfriend finishes singing their last song for the Des Moines crowd and she instantly goes frantic by my side. She tugs on my arm and jumps up and down as the rest of the crowd goes wild as well. Clair glides in front of us and takes a shot of the band and the crowd. I clap as well and Shay turns to look at me with a wide smile. I feel the hands of several fans graze my shoulder or hair but I don't bother to pay them much attention. Shay convinced me to be by the barricade tonight, for the Des Moines show and last night during the Sioux Falls show. I was partially nervous at first because I wasn't sure how different their fans would react but luckily it's gone well. I was almost always near the barricade for Cages shows because the fans practically loved me and would always ask to take pictures with me but after the mobbing that occurred with Jamie, 6 days ago, I wasn't sure how safe I felt by their fans.

" Thank you guys." Christo thanks the crowd before stepping off and allowing the crew members on to switch off the instruments and equipment. I call through the radio and inform them to switch the main lights on and several seconds later they do.

Shortly after the lights come on me and Shay decide to make our way backstage so I can get back to work and so she can meet her boyfriend. We each part ways once we're in the back and I decide to get back to work. Once I check in with all the crew members and make sure there's no problems I go towards the hall that leads to the dressing rooms and begin to look for Derek. Me and Derek have been continuously spending time together and after I got out of the shower , two days ago, I met him outside and we made our way to the venue before continuing to spend time together while we did our jobs. These last two shows we haven't been able to do much scouring due to the fact that we haven't gotten any break days but we've been able to talk here and there while we work. Unfortunately though we have spent most of our time together talking about baseball and listening to generic pop music, two things I'm not very fond of.

Once I reach the dressing room hallway I look around and call out for Derek's name. No one responds but when I stop and hear a door open behind me I am reintroduced to the bad company I was hoping I wouldn't have to speak  to.

" Hey, sweetheart." Alex says as he opens his dressing room door and leans against the edge, looking down and buttoning up his shirt after he finishes talking. I jump slightly in my spot when he opens his door but once I recollect myself I turn to look at him with the most neutral look I can muster. I don't want him to know that he effects me in anyway. He can't know. Neither can anyone else.

I mouth a hey and quickly look away and down at my frowning face t-shirt before tucking it into my light wash jeans. Although when I start paying attention to my choices in clothing I'm taken away when I hear the sound of heels come from in front of me. Since when does Alex wear heels?

My breath hitches in my throat as I look up and see Alex step to the side as he allows Amy to exit the room. He doesn't bother to look at her and simply gazes at me as he steps to the side and allows her through. I clear my throat and look around at the walls once Amy gives me a smug look. She must think this is some type of game. I honestly don't give a shit. She can do whatever the fuck she wants with him. I could give a shit less.

" Have you seen Derek?" I ask him and he clears his throat, the smirk instantly leaving his lips. I raise my eyebrows at him and he clears his throat again as he finishes buttoning up his shirt. He's avoiding my question and I can't help but be frustrated by the shift in his mood. For some reason he's acting guarded and to be completely honest I hate it more than when he's taunting and teasing me. I raise an eyebrow at him and he shakes his head and I nod my head before turning around and stepping away from him. Although before I can move more than a couple feet something I've never heard startles me away.