The Monster (My Best Friend Eminem, My Husband Marshall Mathers)

Chapter twenty-three

Chapter twenty-three

Marshall’s P.O.V

            “Mom, where is dad?” “Dad where are you?” The kids called outside the door as I sat locked in the bathroom. The urges were stronger this afternoon I couldn’t even write my lyrics. I was scared, I was really scared. I felt myself caving any moment.

“I’ll be out soon kids, I’m not feeling good” I shouted, trying to stop my shaking voice.

“What’s going on?” Natalia said, outside the door.

“Dad’s sick” Ronnie said.

“Marshall, Marshall, are you drinking Red Bull again?” Natalia knocked on the door.

“No…I’ll be out in a minute baby”.

            God, I need help, I’m scared. I began to think of an option to get out of this mess. I have Natalia, but will she help me? Will she go to therapy with me if I asked her too? I stood in front of the mirror for a while. It scared me even more, my blonde hair suddenly reappeared and the bruises Kim left came back.

            I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom where Natalia was folding clothes again. I laid on my stomach as I fell onto the bed.

“You ok, honey?”

“A little” I lied.

“I made brownies” she said. “Not in the mood”.

“Oh, look Marshall the Despicable Me 2 commercial” she said, putting the volume up more. The song began to play in the background.

            I buried my face into the pillow, letting the darkness take over hopefully I could fall asleep.

“You know I think the turkey was too dry yesterday” Natalia said. “The gravy didn’t help neither…has your mom ever cooked a turkey?”

Natalia’s voice was piercing; the sound of the TV chattering was annoying too. This new me, was scaring me even more, I would kill to her my wife’s voice. But all I hear is Kim.

            Natalia we’ve been married for almost six years can you notice when I’m acting out of the ordinary. All I wanted to do was to tell her to shut up. That would kill me.

“I got to go to the studio later” I mumbled.

“What, it’s Black Friday, hell no; you’ll be in traffic forever”. Grabbing my keys, I kissed my wife goodbye. Natalia grabbed my arm,

“Are you ok?”

I smiled weakly, “Yeah, honey, I’ll see you later”. She smiled pleasantly, her eyes shining brightly, those innocent eyes.

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            Driving downtown made me feel somewhat better. I stopped at the 7 11 for some coffee and then I’ll head to the studio.

“A dollar, ninety-nine” as I pulled out the change, I noticed at the stand stacks of magazines with my face on it. My body froze as the magazines were printed into my head. My family had to see this by now. They must know now.

“A dollar, ninety-nine…” quickly placing the change on the table, I rushed out the store and hoping into my car.

            I can only hope no one has saw this yet. I pulled up to the studio and walked inside. Dre stood with 50, chatting. Their expression read disgusted and angry.

“What’s goin on?” I asked. 50 and Dre shake their heads, “You, me in the booth now!” Dre said. 50 was following behind him.

“Sit” Dre said, forcing me to sit down.

“Nothing like gettin a little aggressive” I said. “You asshole” said 50. I was getting pissed off.

            Dre sat across from me in the chair as 50 stood guard of the door. “Why are you doing it, you stubborn ass punk” Dre said. He leaned over aggressively.

“Doing what”

“The pills, Slim, the pills” Dre growled. Dre’s voice made me jump inside.

“Man, I anit taking no pills, I’ve been clean for years” I said.

“Then what’s this!” he said, holding the magazine in front of my face.

“That whole article is giving you a bad name!” Dre said.

“Man, I’m getting calls from Kim…”

            “Kim?” I questioned.

“Yeah, I haven’t answered them…I had to change my number…everything you and Talia ever buried is rising”.

“Dre, dwag, I can prove to you, I haven’t been using”, I was desperate. I had to find a way to stop this before shit hit the roof for good.

“Look me in the eye and say that, boy” Dre said. I leaned over, “I am clean!” Dre had no choice but to believe me.

            He sat back and sighed, “But, Dre, I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m struggling” I said.

“Struggling?”

“Yeah, like every day it gets harder and harder for me not to use and I never felt like this until I got back from the tour…I took it out on Hailie’s boyfriend last night…now my baby won’t speak to me”.

“Man…” Dre said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Do you need someone to talk to?”

“What’s the point…it won’t take the urges away…” I grumbled, knowing I might suffer like this forever.

            50 and Dre looked at each other, confused and worried. “Come on, let’s get to work” I said, pulling the chair up and start reading the lyrics I wrote. I felt like everything was falling apart and only my strength and will is keeping me going. Dre patted me on the back and told me things will be ok.