Legacy (Supernatural) [Rogue Trilogy] {3}

38. Plan B

38. Plan B

"I know, I know," I say as the baby bumps against my hands. "Don't worry, your daddy will know when he comes back."

I'm back in my room, wanting Cas back from his beer run with Dean already. There's so much I need to say to him. I just need to be with him.

I'm lying on my bed, hands on my stomach. Even though Cas healed me, my heart still pounds fiercely at remembering the pain Amara delivered me. How she just nearly slaughtered me, and therefore almost killed my unborn daughter. I can't do that again. If we make a charge against her, I can't be there. I need to be sidelined.

This has been a battle in my brain for some time now: Where do I go? How am I gonna build up a new life as a single mother? I assume I'll be taking care of her most of the time, as Cas will still be hunting with my brothers.

A knock on the wall has me sitting up. Sam looks as exhausted as I feel.

"You got something?" I ask.

"Nothing yet." He sighs. "How do you feel?"

"Okay. She's fine too."

"Think up names yet?"

"Kind of haven't had the pleasure of time to do so." I slide off the bed and walk to him. "Once we figure out a new tactic against Amara, I'll steer clear of it."

"You did the last time and she pulled you in anyway."

"Well...this time might require me to leave the bunker and go someplace else." I bite down on my lip. "Here isn't even safe anymore." I chuckle. "Imagine that."

"I'm glad you're thinking that way, but, if Amara wins, it won't matter where you go..."

"Yeah, I-I know." And that's what scares me more than anything. If Amara wins, and I run and try to start over, I won't be able to for very long. If the sun dies, all of us will eventually waste away. "I—I had the life we should've had, Sam, just before Cas pulled me back into this. Now, I have that chance again. I—I just didn't think this would be how."

"Take it," Sam says immediately. "Take it. Raise her."

"Oh, I plan to, believe me." I rub the back of my head. "If things work in our favor, I will." I look away. "But I don't know a damn thing about being a parent."

"It'll be a hands-on experience."

"Yeah." I sniff. "Kind of wish Mom was here, you know? She'd know what to say. She'd assure me that I'd be okay, that motherhood will come as instinct." I feel the tears drop. "God, I miss her, Sam."

"So do I. Every day. Hey, come here." Sam pulls me to his chest, smoothing down my hair. "You're gonna be a great mother, I just know it."

I laugh against his chest. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sammy."

"I mean it, Jo. I do. I mean, you've got experience."

"You're not my kid, Sam. You're my brother. There's a difference."

"Think of watching over me as prep for this."

"I'll try. It's gonna suck, no matter the outcome."

"Why?"

"Well...if we win, I won't see you and Dean much. If we lose, well...you know that outcome." I pull way, shrugging.