40. The One Time Where a Chick-Flick Moment is Acceptable

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40. The One Time Where a Chick-Flick Moment is Acceptable

I'm honestly amazed that I was even allowed outside of the bunker after I made a mess on its floor.

The air is refreshing, but a heavy somberness looms in it. This is the final preparation for us. Dean's about to go off and confront Amara, and most likely kill himself with the bomb inside of him.

Unlike our past final confrontations with the big bad, we've switched it up a bit. And let me tell you, it hurts. It hurts me deeply inside, to see her gravestone. Cemeteries never really creeped me out, it just came with the lifestyle. But the one grave that has me weak in the knees is the grave of my mother, Mary Winchester.

There's no picture of her on her stone. I vaguely remember her features. All I know is that the blonde hair I was born with came from her. Some people said that I looked like her too, and that the only representation I had of John Winchester was in my eyes.

Now, I look nothing like either of my parents thanks to this semi-new body.

Sam, Dean, and I are in front of our mother's grave. I feel like it should be just us, but Cas, Rowena, Crowley, and Chuck remain by the Impala. I feel the tears stinging my eyes, my throat is already becoming dry. Would you be proud of us, Mom, with what we've been doing? Is this what you would've wanted for us had you kept on living?

"Dean," I say thickly, still having my eyes on our mother's gravestone, "you don't have to do this."

"'Course I do. I just have to get close." I look at him wearily. "I can do that, okay? I can do that. Don't give me those sad eyes, Jo."

"It's never been my thing." I sniff, rubbing under my nose.

"You know, if this works, that bomb goes off," Sam reminds our brother.

"I know," says Dean. He pats Sam on the shoulder and gives me a forlorn look as he goes over to Rowena and Chuck. Rowena is Chuck's crutch right now.

"I can't believe this," I mutter to Sam. "We were starting to mend fences, and now Dean's gotta sacrifice himself. Again." I wipe my eyes. "It's gonna happen. Amara will die, because that's how our luck goes. We defeat the bad guy, but one of us bites the dust in the process."

"Jo, you didn't have to come with us," Sam reminds me quietly. "You could've stayed at the bunker. You should've stayed."

"If this was my last chance to see my brother, I'm not going to miss out." I shrug. "Besides, I'm not in the line of fire. He'll be the only one." I don't want to let him go. I sigh heavily. "I can't imagine what she'd think if she was ever watching over us." If there was ever a time I needed my mother. "You know...this is the first time I've seen her gravestone. It still hurts just as much when I realized she wasn't coming back."

I breathe shakily as I feel Sam take one of my hands. I look over my shoulder; Dean is talking with Cas now. Emotional goodbyes all around. A grim thought pierces my mind: if this works out, Dean isn't going to meet his niece.

Another thought: if this fails, none of us might get the chance to meet her, in this lifetime anyway.

"Did you think up any game plans?"

"Hmm?" I look at Sam questioningly. "Right. Uh, well..." I clear my throat. "We gotta see how this goes first."

"Jo..."

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