Benefits

Ch. 34: Attention

Attention- The Weeknd

"Tell me how to love, it's been too long."

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I was quiet about Dawson's doing. I was too afraid. There was something blocking me from telling, but I didn't know why. I just knew I couldn't tell anyone. I felt something worse would happen if I told anyone. If I let it go and ignore it, it'll be all done. He'll forget about me, I'll forget about him, and the whole mess will be done. I just wish he didn't have to threaten me like that.

It made me nervous. Now my wrist hurts. It's a lot later in the day, and my wrist is much more darker. I keep my sleeve down, pulling it softly every once in a while. I needed to stay calm.

It was the end of the school day, and it was time to go home.

"Dawn!"

Oh no.

Another voice I do not want to hear.

Lauren.

I feel her fingers press against my shoulder. I almost cringe away from her, but I stay as still as possible.

"Okay fine! You win. I'm sorry." She breathes heavily as if she was running 10 miles for me.

I don't say anything and continue walking home.

"Oh come on Dawn. We are best friends. One silly mistake of jealousy can't get in the way of our friendship." She follows close behind me.

"Jealously?" My voice confused.

"Yes, alright." She sighs. "It's hard for me to admit that. I just want my best friend back, but you go out to a parties with Dawson, and it seems that Jake guy always stares at you at lunch, so I felt jealous that you were leaving me. You know how hard it is for me to say sorry." In the back of my mind I register that she notices Jake stare at me.

I stop in my tracks, and look straight ahead. "Seriously." I mumble to her, too annoyed of the fact she would betray me like that. If she never would have told my mom, things would be so entirely different.

I wouldn't have gotten grounded. Jake wouldn't have fought, meaning he wouldn't have taken pills to sleep. I would have never gone to his house for him to ultimately break my heart so soon.

After some silence, I continue to walk, "Wait!" She grabs my wrist, and I can't hold in the wince that follows after.

"What did I do?" Her eyebrows furrow.

I try to pull away, but she lifts up my sleeve in seconds. She doesn't say anything. Her eyes wanders at my bruise. She lets go of my arm suddenly, and starts fast walking towards the direction I was walking.

"What are you doing?" I follow just as fast as her.

"Telling your mom. I knew this day would come."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your dad is abusing you again." She stops abruptly and turns around at me.

"He isn't, I swear Lauren. He hasn't touched me years."

"Then explain that." She points against at my wrist.

"It's my own fault. I was rushing late to school, and I tripped on a rock. I tried to catch myself, but my wrist caught my fall."

How was I this good? How was I this good at lying to my own friend? I knew she believed me, especially when I added, "You know how clumsy I am." A soft smile displays on my lips, but it was completely fake.