The Dream That Lasted Forever (A Harry Styles FanFic) *Complete*

Chapter Eight: I Was Blinded By The Fame.

*Harry's Point of View* (TWO YEARS LATER)

"I love you, Alyssa." I said into the phone. Her Aussie accent rang through my speakers,

  "I love you too Harry." Alyssa and I have been dating a little over a year now. I met her at a party that the boys and I went to on our tour. Before I met Alyssa I was partying every night, meeting random girls of any age and just hooking up with them. I didn't care anymore, there was no more actual love for anyone but El. Now that I have been with Alyssa, I am back to normal. I am a changed man, not corrupted by fame like I was before.  

Right now, the boys and I are on our way to our first concert in Pennsylvania that is in our American tour. I am really excited because this was the first time that I have ever been in the state but, I am also dreading this concert. I am afraid because from the last I heard, El was spotted being here. I remember from her journal that she wrote down where her hometown was and the huge fair that was thrown every August. I sighed. I guess I finally let myself realize that this was that fair.  

Is it bad that I have that last part of her journal memorized?

"Harry came home drunk again. What else is new? I walked right past him, I could smell the alcohol on him but also a familiar sent. The scent of sex. He cheated on me again. Why am I so stupid for allowing myself be treated like this. I walked into the bathroom just sitting there with the razor blade in my hands. I have been slowly cutting myself for a year. I didn't tell the boys though, they would be so disappointed in me. They didn't know that I wasn't eating or that I was throwing it up. I was to ashamed to tell them. That I wasn't strong. I told myself that I was sorry but, I could be free from the misery that I am trapped myself into. Drunk Harry came walking into the bathroom and saw the blade in my hand. I just stood there frozen, I never told him. He came right up to me and said, 'Go right ahead and kill yourself. I guess that's why you won't let me touch you.' He won't remember saying any of this, but on that night, I was actually going to have sex with him. Now, I'm glad he said that because I could see that he never actually loved me I guess. He made my decision so much easier for me, just to die. As I began to dig deeper into my wrist Liam came running through the door soon after Harry left. I just cried into his chest as I explained what just happened. He told me to take deep breaths and not to kill myself. I'm glad he was there. I was going to do what drunk Harry told me to do. I told Liam that I was going to leave for awhile but I never actually told him where I was going. I felt bad, I feel as if I am ripping my best friends heart."  

That was the last thing she wrote before she left for America, when she left me. I constantly beat myself up for what I said to her. How could I be so blind? The only thing I had to disagree with was that I did actually love her. I was madly in love with her. I was just to blinded by the fame. I keep a copy of the entry in my pocket at all times so I can look at it when I am at parties or clubs. To keep in my mind so I don't treat Alyssa this way. I didn't want to become that selfish boy I became again. I hated the fame and the money. It played with my head and I hurt the one who I loved the most.  

After a year of suffering the black hole in my heart was filled up. I am able to sing again, and be myself. Alyssa just makes it so easy. The way her hazel eyes light up the way she looks at me.. She makes it so easy to forget El. Although its only for the time being, because Alyssa rarely comes on tour with me. She doesn't like the fans, the fame or the fortune. She didn't want my life, but I understand though to a point.  

Staring out the window of the limo I could have sworn that I saw El. I gasped."Hazz, are you okay?" Louis looked at me. I tookanother look at the girl, it wasn't El. I was wrong. I began to shake with anticipation, wondering if I will get to see her again or if I will never see her again.  

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied to him.

Seeing right through my lie he said, "I know you know she is here. Just don't think about her." He kissed my cheek before walking out of the limo.  

"EWW. They are doing it again!" Niall yelled at Liam. We all just started to laugh as we got out of the limo behind the stage.

"Paul said we had sometime to look around if you guys want." Liam said as we looked around.  

"I want food." Niall whined and we started to walk around with abunch of bodyguards of course.