Breathe Me Back To Life •Patrick Stump+Fall Out Boy•

Chapter Eight: Thanks To You I Am Not Myself

||Patrick Stump|| First Person||

Sitting there with Cole resting her head in the crook of my neck is calming. Her breath comes out in soft, slow exhales, blowing cool air out. Her eyes are closed peacefully, but I can't help but remember the frightened, haunted look in them just moments ago.

Why won't she just tell us what's wrong?

I admit it, I care about Cole- more than I really should. But how can I not? I have a soft spot for girls with sarcastic and witty remarks and short hair. (AN: came from an actual interview with Patrick. He said he likes sarcastic and witty girls and he thinks short hair is daring and really cool)

But it can't be that, and deep down, I know it isn't. Something about her draws me in and just makes me want to protect her and drown her demons, because God knows she can't fight them by herself ever since she learned that they could swim. And that's the thing. I can't help her drown her demons without knowing who they are. It scares me almost.

I want my Cole Wentz back. I want the girl who is lying her head on my shoulder back. I want all the trust issues and the lies and the pain to just go away. That's all I ever really wanted. For her to be safe. For her to be okay.

Is that so wrong? Is that completely selfish and inconsiderate of me for wanting one of the most important people to the band's life to be herself again? I've said that seasons change, but people don't. I believe in that line one hundred percent. Cole is still there. This is just some outer shell of hers to keep herself from getting hurt again from God knows what. She's still in there and I want her to just come out and stay here. Is that so selfish? Is it?

The hotel room door opens and Pete walks out, carrying Cole's bag. She lifts her head from my shoulder and raises her eyebrows, silently questioning Pete. He crouches down in front of us and begins to speak in a low tone.

"I talked to Brendon right now, and I want you to sleep in his room tonight." Pete tells her, resting her Jansport backpack against the wall. He adds, "I don't think it's a good idea for you and Elisa to be near each other."

I don't want her to go. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and see her there. It comforts me, knowing she's still there and that she's safe. But that's wrong. I'm not supposed to be attached to her. I can't be. Why? Because I'm in love with Elisa.

Cole bites her lower lip and nods, her fingers curling around the strap of her backpack. She stands up, unwrapping my arms from her before she does so. I look up and watch her as she slowly walks to the room by ours. She knocks lightly and Ryan opens it, smiling widely at her. I see her force a weak smile and rub her eyes tiredly, letting our friend bring her inside. When the door shuts, I can't help but wish she was back here with me.

"You okay, man?" Pete asks, his hand landing on my knee. I flinch and look up in surprise, nodding my head yes.

"All good," I answer Pete, flashing him a smile. He glances back at the door Brendon, Ryan, Joe, and Cole are behind, sighing.

"You need to control your girlfriend." Pete tells me. I'm taken aback, my eyes widening in surprise. "She really has a mouth on her." That's when I sort of notice the flicker of anger behind Pete's dark eyes. I feel guilty because this is all my fault. I shouldn't have let Elisa into the hotel room without us there. We should have just went together. This wouldn't have had to happen.

"I'm sorry." I respond, pushing myself up to my feet. He stares at me for a moment before smiling softly at me. He forgives me. I follow Pete back to the hotel room door where Pete pushes it open for the both of us.

"So you rid us of her?" Elisa is lying down on Cole's bed, smirking uncharacteristically. Honestly, I don't know who this Elisa is anymore. She's just been consumed with jealousy.