Breathe Me Back To Life •Patrick Stump+Fall Out Boy•

Chapter Forty Eight: You Haven't Seen Any Of My Best

||Cole Wentz|| First Person||

I slowly adjust the zoom function, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth and chewing on it as I squint slightly. I smile when the camera focuses in, quickly capturing the moment where Chelsea is falling asleep on Pete. We've only been in Toronto for a few minutes, and we're not very jetlagged after travelling nearly halfway across the country in the past few weeks, but Chelsea hasn't been sleeping very well in general, so this moment is just too cute.

They aren't dating, but Joe and Brendon ship them together so badly. I would ship the two if they weren't a close friend or my brother, because a little sister shipping her brother and her friend together would be pretty odd. I still want to see Pete happy with her- I haven't seen him this stressed before, and to know that it's because of me makes it worse. Ever since Vancouver and my suicide attempt, I was a complete mess. Migraines left and right and crying every five minutes. I was a total wreck, and I kept pushing everyone away and acting like no one knew how it felt to be sick. For my brain to be sick. But I realized something- aren't all of our brains sick, some more than others?

Our brains are sick, and that's okay.

I turn my camera off and push myself up and off of the couch in the tour bus. Pete's eyes slip open slowly at the sudden movement, and I just mouth to
him to go back to sleep. He needs his rest, and I have plans of my own. Anna is somewhere on the bus, and I intend on finding her. Chelsea and I have known each other for years- she practically raised me with Pete when our parents were out. And she really was fond of Anna and Kate. I don't really know much about Kate or Anna, current personality aside. But I'm particularly intrigued in learning more about Anna.

"Hey," I look up at her top bunk, rapping my knuckles lightly on the wooden post by her bunk. My hand feels slightly uncomfortable, banging it against the bunk, but I ignore it. "It's me."

"Yeah," Anna pushes her curtain halfway open, barely glancing at me because her laptop is still open and on her lap, the display fascinating her. "Whaddya need?"

"Got a minute to talk?" I ask, smiling up at her. She doesn't move for a second, and then she's closing her laptop lid and stuffing her computer into her bag. She sits up properly, pushing her bag away after pulling the curtain open fully.

"If you can get up here," She smiles at me. I grin and climb up the ladder, ducking into her bunk and sitting down next to her. She looks over at me, eyebrows raised. "Can I ask you something? Why are you talking to me?" When it's my turn to raise my eyebrows, she clarifies. "You know what I mean. You could be making out with Patrick Stump or playing video games with Andy Hurley. Why do you want to talk to me?"

"I want to get to know you and Kate." I reply, twiddling my thumbs and biting my bottom lip. "I mean, Chelsea trusts you guys, so I want to fully trust you, too."

"Makes sense," Anna responds, smiling at me. "Ask away."

"What was your childhood like?" I ask, smiling encouragingly at her. She looks down, blowing out a breath of air that sends strands of her hair up momentarily. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't like talking about it." I add when I see the way her eyebrows crease together and her lips purse.

"I don't." Anna answers, picking at a loose hangnail on her thumb. "But I can tell you. I used to be bullied a lot because I was either too quiet or too loud. After adding up my interests and dislikes, I've come to the conclusion that they didn't like me because I was different than them. Different is threatening."

"Different is good." I say softly. Anna smiles lightly, her lips curling up a bit at my small comment.

"Yeah, well, different didn't keep my dad alive. He died when I was thirteen, and my life's been really downhill from there. I lived in Vancouver for a while, which is where I met Chelsea and Kate, but I moved to Chicago. I come to Vancouver when I can." Anna speaks bitterly when she briefly mentions the passing of her father, and I can tell that it's a sore subject for her. I don't push it. "And that's when we met." She says, her tone cheering up a bit. "I like to play bass, I love lemon tea, and Supernatural is bae."