In the lively city of Sydney, Australia, lives Cassalia Elle Anderson, an eighteen-year-old high school student who has always been wary of boys and avoided the idea of dating. But everything changed two years back when she crossed paths with Ben Mi...
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My pulse begins to beat faster, my heart pounding as Blake stares at me, unblinking.
"Please repeat what you just said?" he requests, beggingly, and heat rises my spine.
"I love you" I hear myself confess for the second time without missing a beat.
He continues to stare down at me with a mixture of hope, joy, and love. My heart rattles in my chest as the words carry on, spewing out of my mouth "I'm in love with you. This is all so crazy for me. I've never felt like this before" I speak in all honesty "my feelings for you scared the hell out of me because I couldn't even explain them to myself nor understand them, so I did what my fear for love compelled me to do...I pushed you away"
"At that moment it felt like the easy way out, I thought I was saving myself from the future misery because I didn't trust that you'd catch me when I started falling for you" unease slink down my spine when he looks away, "I thought I was saving myself from the future pain I'd have to endure because I had already concluded in my head that you'd hurt me"
"Day in and day out I tried to wrap my head around the overwhelming emotions that clouded me after you ended things between us. I didn't understand why you consumed me so much albeit I thought I made the right decision. I didn't understand why the ache in my chest worsened every single time I would fight the urge to text you or call you. I didn't understand why the hole in my chest would close up a little bit whenever we were in the same room, only to open up even more whenever you were away from me" I meet his eyes again, witnessing all the pain in them.
Pain that I caused.
"I didn't understand all of it until reality came crashing into me – I fell head over heels for you" I avow and the words soak the atmosphere.
Blinking slowly, he stares at me wordlessly.
"I'm sorry it took me this long to figure out what's going on in my heart" tears blur my vision "I'm sorry for hurting you" I own up.
I want him to say something, anything, but instead, he just carries on looking at me, my words seeming to have rendered him speechless.
"I want you back" my voice grows more desperate as I try to regulate my racing heartbeat.
"What are you saying exactly?" his words sink into me and my mind plays out all the events that led us to this moment.
"I need you" I continue unfolding my feelings "I'm ready to let you in wholeheartedly"
"I trust you," I say matter-of-factly "I know this because I let you into my life. I wouldn't have if I didn't trust you. We would never have happened. It's hard for me to let people in, not that I'm trying to use it as an excuse to justify my shitty behavior, but I just want you to I assure you that I trust you"
He opens his mouth to say something, but I continue, wanting to let out everything "right now, you don't trust me, I get it. It's all my fault. I broke your trust. But I want you to know that I'm willing to do anything to earn it back, to have you back"
