Benedict Cumberbatch: Life With Ben

Chapter Nineteen: If You Wanna Be My Lover

I must have been lying on the grass crying for around 10 minutes when I smelt the waft of a burger walking towards me. I felt a hand stroke my hair as the plate was placed by my head. I ignored the hand and carried on crying into the grass. A foot stepped over me and so did another. I didn't look up I just stared at the fence. The figure got down on his knees and laid opposite me and faced me. It was Ben. I tried to wipe my eyes so there was no evidence of any tears. "Claud?" I didn't reply. "What's the matter lovely?" I still didn't reply. "Who was it?" I closed my eyes and tried to block all noise out. "Look, I'll go if you don't want to talk?" Ben was about to get up when I finally spoke.

"No, please stay!"

He sat and stroked my hair and smiled. "Do you want to talk about it?" I rolled on to my back and looked up to the sky and started to talk. "It was Lucy. She's moving to Africa for eighteen months, for her university course!"

Ben, leaning on one arm, looked at me and sighed, "Well, we can always see her tomorrow? I could drop you off at the campus?"

I continued to look at the sky when a breeze hit the garden, leading to the burger to smell more tasty. I picked it up and bit into it whilst my eyes watered again.

"Ben, she is leaving tomorrow morning." I took another bite but this time bigger and within another big bite it was gone. "Darling, please, don't cry. Just think of it as an amazing experience for her. She might get holiday leave so she will come home for Christmas & that's not that far away!"

I looked at Ben and burst out crying, "I was meant to be staying at hers during Christmas! What if she doesn't get time off?" I continued to cry.

"Come here, darling. Let's clean your face & wipe those tears away!" I shuffled over to Ben when he patted his lap. I sat on his lap and flung my arms around him. "I am sorry. It's been an odd couple of days!" I said as he gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek.

"Come on, Claud, I don't want you to cry. Come on let's go and see the guys and make sure they are okay!" He got to his feet and smiled as he put his hand out for me to grasp. "I love you, Claud Annabel Digby, and don't you forget it!" He pulled me close and kissed me on the lips, passionately. He grasped my hand and interlocked our fingers as we walked over to the patio.

"That burger was divine, thank you Nick!" I said smiling placing my plate on the table, as I tried to take peoples mind off of the fact that I was sprawled across Simon Pegg's lawn crying. No one needed to remember that. "Are you okay, Darling?" Amanda asked smiling.

"I am more than fine thank you!" I replied.

Amanda looked at Ben in a way of asking "What is going on?" Ben discreetly shrugged whilst taking my hair down so it could dry off naturally.

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Evening was drawing in and it was time for us to depart. "Thank you, Simon and Maureen! It was lovely meeting you!" I said smiling as Ben & I walked up to where Simon and Maureen was situated. "You are most welcome, darling. We shall see you on Monday, at around 3?'

I nodded and smiled as Ben interlocked our fingers and we started to walk down the pathway to the gate.

"What about Amanda and Martin? Are they not coming home with us?" I asked as Ben opened the gate for me, "They are stopping over the night as they are all going for a walk first thing in the morning" Ben replied smiling. "So what do you want to do when we get home?" Ben asked as he turned on the car engine.

"Well, you owe me a facial & my nails to be painted, so we could have that done whilst listening to music?"

Ben sighed and then laughed, "Right, okay. Have you got the stuff with you or is it at Oxford?"