Benedict Cumberbatch: Life With Ben

Chapter Twenty Two: Posh English Tea Hater

"I can't find my sock!" Ben said from underneath the covers trying to get dressed again, missing only a bright pink sock. I was sat at the end of the bed putting my belt on. "Your sock is on the floor!" I said bending over to pick it up off of the floor, to pass to Ben. "Oh thank you, Claud!" I smiled & walked over to the mirror to redo my hair & place my glass upon my face. Slowly plaiting my hair, Ben came up behind me putting his arms around my waist rocking me slowly, whilst placing his chin on my head. His hair was a mess, but a good mess! His curls were wild and bounced a little as his head moved."That was fantastic, Darling! And you said it was your first time?" I smiled & nodded whilst applying an elastic hair band to my hair. My hair flowed down my front, with a few strands coming down both sides of my face.

Ben leaned to the left & pressed the play button on the stereo, span me around and said in a voice like silk, "May I have this dance?" I felt like Elizabeth Bennett from Pride & Prejudice, getting asked to dance by a very sexy Mr Darcy (even though Mr Darcy played by Colin Firth, in the BBC's version, was very, very sexy! Even if it was a few years before my time) "Oh, Mr Darcy, of course you may!" I said not realising I called Ben 'Mr Darcy', but he didn't seem to twig and took hold of my waist and my arms locked around his neck as he swept me around the bedroom, dancing to Beethoven. Humming the tune, Ben waltzed me around the bedroom and out onto the balcony. People below in the streets looked up to see what we were doing, but we didn't realise. I felt like I should have been dancing in front of Sir Bruce Forsyth, Len Goodman & Bruno Tonioli on the dance floor on Strictly Come Dancing. "1, 2, 3, 4, and-" Ben said before lifting me up into the air and span me around the room. Ben brought me back to the safety of the ground and gasped, "Claud! Pizza!" "Pizza?" I questioned, puzzled and confused for the fact that, we were waltzing around the room to Beethoven a minute ago and a minute later Ben wants pizza. "Yes! Shall we go out for pizza or get a takeaway? How about takeaway? Dominos Pizza Takeaway it shall be!" Ben uttered in such a Sherlock way- quick and mumbling, leaving you standing there waiting for him to gasp for breath. "Umm, okay, Darling" I agreed hoping he didn't suggest eyeball pizza or brains cocktails. Ben took my hand and with his other hand he pulled out my toy Sonic Screwdriver- what was in my bag (don't question my logic as you never know when you may need a Sonic Screwdriver!)- And in his theatre voice yelled "Come along, Digby!" zapping my Sonic Screwdriver down the hall, killing the imaginary aliens and monsters as we go. "Watch out, the Daleks are in the kitchen!" We ran down the stairs and got to the floor at the end of the stairs, and army crawled our way through the hall to the kitchen. Despite the fact that we were only messing about and there were not any Daleks and that my Sonic Screwdriver was a toy, we froze because we heard a noise coming from the kitchen. It sounded like footsteps. "Were you expecting anyone?" I whispered, as I pinned myself up against the wall next to the door, to Ben, who was pinned against the wall in the other side of the doorway. "No, I don't recall inviting anyone over-" Ben froze before continuing, "Today is Sunday, isn't it?" I nodded "Crap! My parents are coming over for a roast dinner!" "Your parents are here for a roast dinner!" I said. Ben opened the kitchen door and found his Mother & Father in the kitchen sitting on the breakfast barstools, waiting eagerly for Benedict to come in. "Told you he was here, Timothy!" Ben's mother said to his father. "Mum, Dad! Is it that time already?" "Yes, it's 16:37" Wanda said. I looked at the clock and then at Ben with a look of confusion. How long have they been here? Did they hear us making love? Did they hear us dancing to Beethoven? How the hell did they get in? "Mum, Dad, you remember Sue, who used to help with my finances?" Ben said to his parents as if he was building up to something, or in my case, someone. "Yes?" Wanda said whilst Timothy clocked myself. "Is this Claud?" Timothy said pointing at me and walking up to me with arms wide open. "Yes, she is!" Ben said smiling at me. "Claud?" Wanda said looking at me trying to work out who Claud is. "Sue's niece, remember when I was going to have a get together a few years back but cancelled?" Sue nodded, whilst Timothy continued to hold me tight within his arms. "Well, Claud was the one I spent the day with!" Wanda gasped, "The one with the Uncle Samuel, who worked at the school?" "Yes!" Ben replied. "Why didn't you just say so? Claud! We've waited a very long time to meet you!" Wanda said tapping Timothy's shoulder as a signal to say "Let go, it's my turn!" Timothy released me from his arms and Wanda took hold of me. "I'm so sorry about your depression and all the stuff you went through!" Wanda said holding me close. "Thank you, that means a lot, but I'm better now!" Wanda let me go and questioned what I said with a smile on her face. "Better?" I nodded, "Thanks to your son. He taught me a lot about life and that we should be happy to be who we were born to be- unless you are a murderer, rapist or an assassin, then you shouldn't be happy about that!" Wanda looked at Ben and smiled, "That's my boy!" and then continued, "So, are you two doing like counselling meetings still?" "No, Mum, we are a bit more than that!" Wanda's face was blank & so was Timothy's. "Claud, these are my parents. Mum, Dad, this is my Girlfriend, Claud!" They looked at me & then at Ben, and then to me & back at Ben. "Sweetheart, can I have a word with you please. Mother and Son talk!" Wanda said smiling. Ben placed a kiss on my forehead and said whilst passing me my Sonic Screwdriver, "Darling, would you and Farther mind waiting in the lounge, please? Mother & I, will be in shortly with a drinks!" "Okay" I smiled whilst Timothy led the way. The kitchen door closed and Timothy and I walked into the lounge. Timothy sat in one chair and I sat in the other.