The Winchester Sister (COMPLETED)

Chapter 19

We sit on my bed in my room in the bunker. Cas talks without stop, saying we can find a way to avoid fate. He says there are ways to kill the Fates, ways for me to avoid going to Hell.

"Cassie," I whisper, "Why are you so against it? I can do it without becoming a demon, without becoming evil. Cas, I can find a way out of it. I can rule Hell and turn it into a place of order, I can get the demons to be peaceful. Cas-"

He turns to me. "Asaya, no. I've been to Hell. You... you wouldn't like it. It would destroy you. Asa, it almost destroyed me. You're new at being an angel, and you're not in full power."

"Castiel, I love you and I know what you've been through and I accept that, but my hunting... I've seen such awful things, Cas. I've proven I can handle a few demons. Just, please, whatever you do, don't try to stop it. We don't know how much time we have, Fate didn't say. I can come up with a plan," I say, trying to comfort him.

He sighs, and looks away. I can read the thoughts on his face, and I know he's working through a lot. He's clearly uncomfortable with this idea, but I no longer need him to protect me, not like I did when I first arrived here. I can do this.

"Okay," he whispers. "I won't try to stop it." He doesn't look at me when he says the last part, but his face says it's true.

We sit there together, and for the first time since I became an angel, I feel small. I feel amazingly, scarily small. Here we are, Cas sitting in his vessel and me in my body, on my tiny bed, in this tiny room, in this tiny house, in this tiny town in this tiny state in this tiny country on this tiny planet, and I feel small. There are so many bigger things out there, bigger then even me in my true form. I'm so small, so... dispensable, compared to the other things. There are planets out there, planets with other life, life that God did not create, life that could destroy angels in the blink of an eye. Luckily for us they don't know we exist. But why? Why were we put here, on this tiny planet, if we were just going to mess it up?

Is this what it's like to lose faith?

Dean comes barging in, making both of us jump. "Amriel! Where have you been, you've been gone for hours! Cas, why isn't she okay?"

Oh, they care so much. They don't even know who I am.

TIME SKIP FROM EARLY SEASON EIGHT TO EARLY SEASON NINE.

I am the only angel with wings? I wasn't in Heaven at the time of the fall. I didn't lose my wings, or my grace. I'm the only full angel, other then Metatron. He doesn't know, however.

I've spent most of the last year researching Hell. I know everything about demons now. I know as much about Hell as I could find written. I did the occasional hunt, when I found a case, but I stayed in the bunker otherwise.

I know where Castiel is. My brothers do not. I go to see him once a day, at varying times for a varying amount of time. He's... doing good, for an angel turned human. He doesn't completely understand everything yet, but I'm helping him. He has a job, at a gas station. As far as I can tell, he likes it, but he still misses my brothers and the bunker.

Poor Castiel.

I'm mad at Dean. Castiel is wanted by the other angels, sure, but why did he have to kick him out of the bunker? Does he think I don't know about Gadreel? I may be new, but I know all the angels, and I know which one's died in the Fall. The angel possessing Sam is not Ezekiel, but Dean refuses to believe it. Dean comes up with bad excuses, for why monsters keep calling Sam something other then human, for why Sam keeps blacking out. I watch him lie to the both of us. I can barely stand it.

But I do. Because I don't know what Gadreel's plan is. So far, he's been helpful. He bought back Charlie and Cas, and he's healing Sam. But as I recall reading, I've never met Gadreel before this because he was locked away in Heaven's prison. He was imprisoned for letting the Snake in, for letting evil corrupt God's creation of the humans. I read he was evil. So why is he helping us?