Secrets Of His Playhouse

Nineteen

Shawn's POV

It has been 3 days.

3 days of nothing but utter silence. A guard had taken Sunshine because she wouldn't stop yelling to go to the bathroom. She's like a child sometimes. For the past 3 days I've been ignoring her eyes on me, only God knows what she's always thinking.

I figured that she found it hard to sit quietly in one place so she'd often hum or sing one song or the other. It's an unconscious action which she repeats every time but, when she realises herself she'd stop singing abruptly. I think she sometimes forgets she's not alone. Her voice isn't an awful sound though, it's soothing. Better than silence.

The silence between us is very uncomfortable. I'm always 100% aware of whatever she's doing. Whether she's playing with her hair, singing, eating, sleeping, breathing, everything.

I had never intended to not talk to her, I just wanted her to understand that we were in this mess because of her. But, she had to be stubborn and refuse to accept her part of the blame. I admit it seemed like I was putting it all on her but, at that point my mind was hazy. And then, she had the guts to call me a puppet.

Me!

Her words stuck in my head longer than they should have. Her mock tone keeps ringing in my ears. I hate it when people point out how easily I let Peter use me. I hate it because I know they're right. I know I'm a puppet. But there is nothing I could do about it, not until that day in the hotel when for the first time I hit him.

And it was because of her.

Then again, I lied to his face when -even at that moment- I knew I wouldn't-couldn't kill her.

It was all because of her.

She was messing up my already perfect routine.

And it scared me.

I'm worried about the further consequences of my actions.

I feared the person I was slowly becoming.

I'm scared because I know Peter wouldn't like that new person.

The doors open, and she walks in smiling at the scowling guard. He locks the doors and leaves us alone. She walks over to her side of the cell leaning her back against the wall. From the corner of my eye I see her glance at me for a second too long before looking away.

I hate the silence, but we're both too proud to break it. Me more than her. I want to thank her; she had nursed my wounds, and I wasn't an ungrateful person unlike what she believes. I'm sure she thinks a lot of wrong things about me. I'm sure....

"I can't keep doing this." She says breaking me away from my thoughts with a tiny voice. She clears her throat before speaking again. "I'm not exactly a chatterbox but I hate uncomfortable silence."

I feel her eyes on me as she awaits my response. I don't look at her though, and I don't speak either. I'm too shocked to speak. Shocked she broke the silence first.

She looks away, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." She says shocking me again. My head snaps to her direction and for the first time in 3 days, our eyes meet. But she looks away. "I'm sorry that my actions got you into this mess but honestly, I was just helping my friend out I didn't think anyone else would get in trouble. I'm also sorry that you think I've manipulated you, but honestly, I care about Eva and I still believe that you should tell her the truth." She glances at me and it's my turn to look away.

She does not know what the actual truth is.

"And finally, I'm sorry for calling you a puppet. Even though it's true," I look at her and she's smiling warmly. "It was still rude of me to point it out mockingly."