PTSD

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*flasback*

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*flasback*

"You have got to chill out, you know you got two left feet." Chris teased as I attempted to dance. He always found time to clown my dancing and remind me which of us was the performer.

"You're a hater." I threw, actually more aggressively than I anticipated and he furrowed his brows at me jokingly.

"Okay angry. I was just playing." He shot back and fanned me off. I rolled my eyes following behind him till we reached the couch in the dance studio and I plopped down on it.

"I'm not angry, sorry for lashing out." I told him and he chuckled bringing my feet up to rest them on his lap and we sat on opposite ends of the couch.

"You really trying to ignore the fact that you're clearly hormonal because you're pregnant right?" He spoke knowingly with a smug look and I threw my head back, partially because I didn't want to hear it and partially because his foot rub was hitting so many spots.

"You're wild. I'm pms'ing, nothing more." I responded even though I knew it was probably the prior.

"Let's just take a test." He said adjusting himself to make me more comfortable and I sighed. I felt like it was just a short few months ago I was having a very similar conversation with Michael... because it was a few months ago. I couldn't possibly be this fertile.

"If I do it will that get you off my ass?" I reasoned and he smiled widely moving forward to kiss my forehead.

"BET. Let's go!" He said excitedly and pulled me off the couch, for a second my breath got caught in my throat and before I could think straight Chris had us parked outside the CVS.

-

"Just turn it over Kam." Chris said for the third time and I tapped the pregnancy test that was turned over in my hand. I was convinced it was negative, but given the circumstances I wasn't sure and Chris was sure I was wrong in thinking so.

"Why do you want a baby so bad, when you know I don't want one right now?" he asked and looked up at him and he sighed staring down at me without responding.

"I want you to be happy...I would never encourage you to go through anything that would make you feel bad, I did it before and I know how much it hurt you." He said making me tear up and he put his hand on my shoulder and pressed down.

"I didn't think you were being serious about really not wanting this. I feel like its positive, I just got a feeling. But if it is and you don't want to go through with it, then its your body and I will support any decision you make." I realised then just how much Chris had grown, he extended grace and he genuinely wanted to handle me with care.

"You promise?" I asked and he nodded.

"I uncle jojo promise" He said and I immediately burst into a fit of laughter. Uncle Jojo was my moms brother. Whilst we were growing up he would always promise us things, from taking us to get Ice cream to theme park trips and when we'd ask him to promise, he'd put his pinky up and say a charming "Uncle Jojo promise" low and behold he ain't never take us for ice cream once and Chris and I never once saw a theme park together, but the memory was so hilarious that I went to push Chris' chest and when I did the pregnancy test flew to the ground.

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