P.U.S.H

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"I hate you so much aughhhh" I groaned into Chris' ear almost breaking his middle and index fingers as I twisted them in mine for dear life

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"I hate you so much aughhhh" I groaned into Chris' ear almost breaking his middle and index fingers as I twisted them in mine for dear life. 

"Just keep breathing baby, you're doing so good" he said, suppressing his own pain to try comfort me.

"I can't do this baby, I can't" I groaned again with what felt like little to no air in my lungs. I was lightheaded, hot and couldn't feel my legs. three kids would've been fine. Why the fuck was I so determined to have another one, now I was getting ready to push two out at the same time and the pain just felt so avoidable. 

"Her blood pressure and oxygen levels are falling - we need to do something." The nurse that was in the room with us said into the devise that connected her to my Dr. 

"What?! What's happening?!" Chris shouted, his head snapping up from the side of my neck. I felt like I was dying. I was.

"Mr Brown, your wife is experiencing hypertension. We're going to treat it as an emergency, but we need to get her calm and keep her conscious to push." I heard them say, away from me now - I was honestly hanging on for dear life.

"What you mean keep her conscious doc? Are the babies going to be okay?!" he shouted, clearly scared too and the Dr nodded.

"The twins oxygen levels are fine, we just need to keep your wife stable and pushing - as soon as possible" He told him, trying to keep as calm as possible. Both Chris and I were both full of anx and that didn't help anything. 

"You ready mama?" Chris said coming back to my side and used his hand to wipe the sweat from my forehead then kissed it.

"Oh that's salty. You ate them chips i told you not to eat last night didn't you?" He joked, trying to help calm me now and he half did make me laugh before i felt the immense pain that humbled me right back to screams.

"Mrs Brown we need you to push. Your baby is crowning - can you do that for us?" The Dr encouraged and I shook my head quickly, but Chris' nod only made me mirror his action.

"You got this mama. Push, I'm right here with you okay? It's gone all be over soon - we gone have our twin babies that we fought so hard for. You just got to push okay?" He affirmed again and I nodded not being able to speak in words.

I took a deep breath and honestly all i could remember was clawing Chris' arm off, and pushing because my life literally depended on it. 

"We got one out!" The Dr shouted and I cried out in joy and pain - as Chris looked above my hoisted up leg to peak at our baby girl? boy?

"It's a girl!"

"Push baby, push. We so close. You hear that cry - that's our baby." He said over our baby girl's cry and I looked into his eyes with literally nothing left in me, but my want to finally complete our family.

"You're so amazing baby - I can't wait for forever with you. Push baby, push." He said, in tears now and i nodded pushing my baby out and as soon as I heard the Dr confirm our baby boy was here, I lost consciousness.

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