Last Hurdle

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I sat in Janaie's house in a sweat suit i'd left here months ago - i'd spent the night and as any good friend would have, when i woke up she greeted me with my favourite hot drink, water and Tylenol

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I sat in Janaie's house in a sweat suit i'd left here months ago - i'd spent the night and as any good friend would have, when i woke up she greeted me with my favourite hot drink, water and Tylenol.

"You cried all night Kam, had me damn crying too." She said sweetly sitting beside me and I chuckled a little.

"... He really fucked up huh?" She commented and I sighed.

"Real bad." I said shortly and she shook her head.

"He just called again. I told him you didn't want to speak right now." She told me and I almost felt bad - I hated shutting Chris out, and with all the counselling we'd had that opposed it, I hated it even more.

"What are you going to do?" She asked and I shrugged.

"We're less than a week from our engagement party and less than 2 from what's supposed to be our wedding. I don't know Janaie." I spoke honestly.

"You love him?" She asked and I nodded without even thinking.

"More than anything." I told her truthfully again.

"But I can't marry another cheater. He says he didn't do anything and I want to believe him, I do. But marriage is forever, and Chris is who he is. It's never going to be a hundred percent." I said getting teary again.

"You want to know what I think?" She probed and I nodded, even though I probably didn't want to hear it.

"You're scared, and you want a way out." she said plainly and i twisted my brows up. Out of Neesha, Sevyn, Janaie and myself, she was the least blunt - she always said what she needed to but in a super roundabout way.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because Kam, you got to be real with yourself. Chris obviously wants to be a better man for you, and has been. I got my ears to the streets sis, trust me, I know. He was probably all shaken up and shit because he knew you'd act like this and the last thing he wants is to make you feel like you can't trust him. But if he says he didn't do nothing, and no bitch ain't called your phone with real concrete evidence. Then be with your man. He's not the same man he was a year ago, or two or five years ago. He's stood by you, damn it the man almost went to PRISON after half way killing your ex and y'all wasn't even together. Listen... if you have doubts then do what you need to. But If I had a man love me, fight for me, go to war with the world for me the way Chris has for you? I wouldn't let anything get in the way of that." She said in her LA twang and I put my head into my hands.

"If I do this with him, there's no going back." I said into her neck from the hug she had me in and she nodded.

"That's the point." She said plainly again and the phone rang again.

"Hello?" I said into it and I know he was shocked that I answered because the normal me would've kept him on ice.

"Baby...Come home." He said simply and I took a deep breath before nodding as if he could see me.

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