One Night Madness

63rd Madness

***

New.

I stifled a laugh as I remembered what happened last night. The plastic engagement ring sat perfectly in my finger and I couldn't help but be amused with how his proposal happened, a total opposite of what I dreamed of.

Then, a realization hit me.

I stared at Tay who was sleeping peacefully in my arms. A little bit of drool started rolling down his slightly open mouth. Others might find it gross, but I found it cute.

"Good morning," I mumbled.

His eyelids slowly fluttered before he finally zeroed in his gaze on me.

"Good morning, fiancé."

I giggled at the mention of the word but the sight of Tay holding Namtan's child suddenly crossed my mind.

A knot formed in my stomach as I recalled how happy he was at the sight of the little child in his arms.

And I couldn't help but feel insecure.

And scared.

"Good morning, Tay."

"Hmmm."

I furrowed my eyebrows in response to Tay's pout.

"Good morning, love," I repeated, earning a wide grin from him.

"Love, are you sure about this?"

I bit the insides of my cheeks as I dropped the question that had been bothering me ever since that day. To be honest, I've always been so sure about Tay. I couldn't see myself spending my life with anyone else, but the fear of not being able to give Tay something that he might want scared me.

"Sure about?" he asked back before scooting closer to me.

"A-about, marrying me."

"Of course. Why? Wait! Are you having second thoughts about me?? Did I do something wrong?"

I immediately shook my head as he cupped my face. A worried look was plastered across his face and I couldn't help but feel guilty.

"No. You didn't. I, I'm just worried about something."

"What is it, love? Come on. Tell me. You can always tell me everything."

"I, I can't..."

My voice trailed off as I contemplated whether I should say it or not.

"What is it that's bothering you?"

"I...," I heaved a deep sigh and closed my eyes as I blurted out the words that I was trying to keep to myself the moment I saw him carrying Alexis, "I can't bear a child."

"And then?"

I immediately looked at him.

"What's with your reaction??"

"And so what if you can't bear a child? I can't bear one, too. And besides, we're both men. It's no longer a surprise, love."

"But..."