Tell Me With Flowers

Epilogue

MEGAN

It had been exactly a week since I had walked out of his apartment, promising myself that no matter how much I hear him scream my name, I wouldn't turn back.

I had expected the breakup to break my heart, pierce my soul and snatch away the purpose of my existence. I had wanted to know the pain it brought along, sucking the life out of everything that I thought was happy. I had envisioned myself to be out of my sane mind, keeping myself high with the drinks and hoping that just for that moment of pure idiocy, I would forget everything. Forget the raw intense pain that his name brought along with it.

Apparently, my wishes had come true to its word.

My breakup with Miles was exactly as I had expected. The pain and the anguish were too much to bear. Everything that I laid my eyes on was marked by him. The hotels we went in, the food that he cooked to please me, and even my fucking boutique looked like an aftermath of my relationship.

To say that my nightmares had increased two-fold was an understatement. The dreams which haunted me occasionally, now plagued me every time I closed my eyes. And the worst part was they were the same scenes of Miles emotionally torturing me, leaving me teary eyed and scared. With those behind my back, I had almost turned sleep deprived.

"What about this one?" Amber asked, holding a shirt at its sleeve for inspection. As she saw me, my eyes almost betraying her that I was having a good time, she sighed. But for all our sake, she tried to ignore it. "This has a hippo designed on the front. Do you like it?"

I shrugged, going forward, my fingertips brushing the over expensive cloths along the way. I would have preferred to stay at home, sulking over my dead relationship than go shopping any time. But with Amber looking at me as if she were exhausted in making me smile, I had to nod my head as a yes.

Ever since the fateful day, Amber had immediately noticed my fall in mood before I could even come up with an explanation. To top all that, Miles had given an interview about how we had moved apart exactly four days after the big day. He had stopped calling me a day before that.

These depressing turns of events didn't make it any better for my nightmares to rest. They laughed in my face, calling me weak to sell my heart to the heartbreaker.

He knew all along how I felt when it came to people lying me, yet Miles had taken the same trust I had put in him to betray me. But this time, it was more horrible and less reversible. It was as if I was blind to all that was happening around to see that it was always the lion under the sheep's costume.

How could he do that to me? Was I that insignificant to him?

He had gone behind my back to do a lot of things and my love for him was so strong that I had chosen to ignore them all just to make sure that I could call him mine again. How foolish had I been?

We both had come out fresh after our last breakup. While I didn't suffer from it, Miles did and hell, I know he still does. The way his face falls when Shelly's advertisement comes up on the television or when he sees his father, I know that he still cares for her.

But had he used me as a rebound to get back at her? He had said that he loved me, just when I was about to leave him for good. Was it a statement made out of desperation? Was that all I was? A desperate measure to set his life straight?

It was one of the reasons why I didn't stay back to hear what he had to say for all the awful things that he did to me. A part of me was scared that he might change my mind, because hell knew that I would put my love for him on top of everything else. Even if it meant he would ruin me for good all over again.