Resentment (Princeton)

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Y/N . . .

"Babe it's not what it looks like"

He stood in front of me, eyes searching my face to see whether I'd be naïve enough to believe the excuse that rolled so easily off his tongue. I scoffed, feeling my temperature rise as I looked at him as if he'd grown two heads,

"Oh it's not?" My eyebrow cocked as he opened his mouth to say something but soon closed it; I could see his mind racing trying to concoct any lie that would put me at ease and save him from yet another fight. I took his silence as an admittance to guilt, raising the phone to his face and scrolling down the brightly lit screen,

"Then how do you explain these texts, huh?"

Jacob continued to stare at me, his eyes already pleading with mine as if he knew what was to come, his lack of an explanation only leading to one possible outcome. He knew as well as I did that his unfaithfulness had been breaking us apart, the cracks that each lie formed left little room for trust or even a chance at happiness any more. Towards the start I accepted his heartfelt apologies, the endless professions of love and tears of guilt that soaked my neck as he pleaded for another chance. But time after time he only proved my doubts right. 

"Y/N, you know I love you-"

A chuckle left my lips, cutting him off from whatever bullshit he was yet to spout, it soon erupting into a loud laugh as he looked on in confusion. The laughter masked the pain I felt, but I knew that ultimately whatever hurt I felt walking away from him and the memories would not even compare to the pain of staying by his side to only be humiliated and disappointed.

"I really wish I could believe you Jake but there's no truth behind that. If you loved me you wouldn't do this to me"

A frown creased his features, his hands finding my waist and pulling me closer to him.

"What? How can you say that?" His brown eyes softened, the pools of emotion I had once fallen for. I almost believed the sincerity within them and the pain behind his voice, but I knew better than to fall into his trap once again.

"Babe I know I've made mistakes, Bella was a mistake-"

I yanked myself away from him, my emotions stirring at the sound of her name. My heart felt as if it would beat out of my chest, a knot forming in my stomach as the memories of his affair flooded into my head as if it had only been yesterday. I was drowning in this relationship and as much as I wanted things to work out, resentment constantly clouded my mind.

"I thought I could forgive you. But some people never change. I'm sorry Prince, I'm suffocating, I can't do this anymore"

His face shifted to one of shock at the sound of his stage name, one I had refused to call him since the day we got together as I wanted to know the real him, not the persona that was put out for all the fans and media.  But since everyone else seemed to be having a piece of him, why should I call him by the name that once filled me with warmth and set butterflies free in my stomach. Jacob was no longer mine.

Jacob . . .

Shock. Disbelief. Worry. Regret. A myriad of emotions bombarded me at Y/N's tired eyes, her body even seeming to slump forward slightly in defeat. We had argued before about the numerous mistakes I had made but it never went like this, never resulted in her calling me out of my real name and my chest tightened at the uncertainty that came with it. It no longer felt like the empty threats she had delivered about leaving various times in the past.

"Y/N" my voice was low and I was somewhat surprised it hadn't cracked, "Please"

Tears brimmed her eyes as she dropped her head not wanting me to bare witness to her breakdown. It pained me to see her cry, even more so when I was the reason.

Just as I reached to pull her into my arms, my phone went off, a sigh leaving my lips at the interruption and the name flashing across the screen. Bella. Y/N must have noticed my discomfort and snatched the phone to see the caller ID, answering it and bringing it to her ear.

"Prince baby, when are you coming over"

I could hear the whiny voice from where I was standing, watching as Y/N's expression turned from hurt to pissed.

"Quit ringing his phone you thirsty ass bitch. Don't make me beat your ass a second time"

It was silent for a moment before a squeaky laugh came from the other line,

"Babe, Jacob's already beat my ass"

I could tell she was smirking from the tone she used, using my real name to provoke more of a reaction. Y/N glared at me, her pupil's dilating so much so that her whole eyes looked pitch black.

"Wait no" I raised my hands, "She's lying, baby I've not seen her since-"

The phone came flying in my direction as the hatred that had formed in Y/N's eyes burned brighter.

"You'll never undestand this feeling of pity and never being good enough. I hope she was worth it"

And just like that, she walked out of my life.

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Inspired by Beyonce - Resentment

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