Chapter 20: Ready Or Not

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Toby had the date entirely planned out. He needed everything to go perfectly.

He knew Spencer. She hated going out and spending too much money on fancy restaurants, so he had decided to have their date at their new home. Toby had even cooked their meal himself, which was something he rarely did.

Spencer arrived at the foot of the stairs, clad in a pair of black leggings and a white shirt that Toby recognized to be his. Her hair was in its curly natural state. To Spencer, she looked like a lazy slob. But all Toby could see was beauty.

"Everything looks delicious," Spencer said, sitting in the seat next to her boyfriend. She caressed his cheek and kissed him once, a bright and happy smile soon appearing on her face.

"Let's hope it tastes as good as it looks," Toby joked. He was never very skilled in the kitchen.

The couple enjoyed their meal and chatted about their days. Toby felt his heart beat faster and faster as they came closer to the perfect moment. He had never done this before, and he didn't want to screw it up, especially with her. Toby knew in his heart that Spencer was special.

He reached into his pocket and found the velvet box that had been sitting there all evening. Spencer hadn't noticed a thing. "Spence," Toby spoke up, earning his girlfriend's attention.

"Yeah?" She asked innocently, being forced out of whatever daydream she had.

Without saying a word, Toby nervously got down on one knee in front of her, grabbing onto her hand. "Um," Toby started to say, soon realizing he had forgotten to plan one important thing: what he was going to say.

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Spencer." Toby started, "and I can't picture myself with anyone except you." He opened the box, revealing the most beautiful engagement ring Spencer had ever seen. No words could escape her.

"I can't promise you a lot of money, I can't promise you a lot of things, but I can promise that you'll always have me. I love you so much, and I swear that I will never hurt you. So, Spencer, will you do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me?"

Tears had filled Spencer's eyes and were now streaming down her cheeks. She knew her answer, but she didn't want to say it out loud. Spencer quietly leaned forward, lightly kissing Toby's forehead. "Toby," she started, with obvious sorrow in her voice, "I love you. And I want to, I just don't know if I'm ready. I mean, we've only been together for a few months. They've been the best months of my entire life, but I'm not ready to get married right now." She hated the way she sounded. If they had been together longer, she would've said yes in a heartbeat. But it was too soon.

Toby looked slightly disappointed. "Oh," he said, closing the box and putting it back into his pocket, "that's okay." He truly didn't know what else to say. He had never been rejected like this before.

"Toby, I love you." Spencer said, running her hand through his brownish-blonde hair, waiting for a response. She was afraid, deep down, that he wouldn't say it back.

But, to Spencer's astonishment, he did. "I love you, too." He said, kissing her once.

But it didn't stop at that one kiss. As the minutes passed, each kiss got more and more passionate. Spencer came close to undoing Toby's jeans before he stopped her. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" Toby asked, his forehead pressed against hers. He didn't want to force her into doing anything she didn't want to do. He knew Spencer had trouble when it came to stopping things.

"Yes." She said. Toby smiled to himself, connecting their lips once again and picking Spencer up bridal style. The couple went upstairs to their still semi-furnished bedroom, and Toby laid his girlfriend down on the bed, watching her as she removed the white shirt, leaving her entire torso completely bare, apart from the bra she was wearing.

Spencer sat up and began to unbutton the dress shirt that Toby was wearing, exposing his still-muscular chest. She then undid his belt, followed by Toby taking his jeans off. As things got more heated, Spencer pulled away. "Stop," she said, her voice low. She didn't want to make him angry.

Though, confused at first, Toby spoke. "Of course," Toby said, to Spencer's surprise, "is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Spencer said, getting up and adjusting herself, "it's just that- I thought I was ready, but I'm not." The words came out of Spencer's mouth, and she realized how closely related the situation was to what had happened not ten minutes ago. She thought she was ready for marriage, but she wasn't. She thought she was ready for sex, but she wasn't.

"It's alright," Toby said, "we'll do it some other time." He was a little disappointed, but he knew that everything was up to Spencer. If she's not ready, then she shouldn't feel forced to do it.

"The thing is, lately I've been thinking a lot about my faith, and there's still a part of me that believes that you need to wait for someone special."

"What are you saying?" Toby asked. He was afraid this conversation would go in a bad direction.

"I was thinking about waiting until marriage," Spencer started, earning an internalized groan from Toby, "but then I thought we should wait until engagement."

Toby was more than upset now. Although, he was somewhat thankful he had decided to propose before she had made this announcement, because if it had been any day after, it would've looked like that all he wanted was sex.

But, being the respectful boyfriend that he is, he simply nodded his head. "If that's what you want, then I'm all for it." He said, twirling a lock of her hair in his finger.

Spencer leaned forward, kissing him once, then hugging him. "Thank you, Toby. You have no idea how much this means to me."

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