Spencer waited for the sixteen hours that Isaac was in surgery. With every minute that passed, Spencer could feel herself growing more and more worried. What if Isaac didn't make it? What if something went wrong, causing a lifetime of pain and struggle for Isaac? Spencer had to keep reminding herself to think about anything else, because she knew that the more she thought about it, the more she would worry.
At least she had Toby. She didn't want to admit it just yet, but she was glad that he showed up at the hospital. She couldn't handle this by herself. Her parents were on a cruise, and she didn't want to arm them with this information just yet. Spencer knew that the first thing her mother would say was, "Well, we'll pray for you." Spencer knew from experience that although it was a common practice, praying wouldn't help her now. Maybe after everything, she'd appreciate the prayers. Her dad would either completely ignore her, or find a way to blame her for what happened. She already felt bad, she didn't want to hear it, especially from her family.
Toby's help was appreciated, but she didn't want any of it. All she wanted was for her son to be back in her arms. She didn't want to imagine the world of pain Isaac might be in right now. If she could just reverse time, she would've changed their fate. Spencer never would've taken Isaac to school that day. She wouldn't have tried to call Toby. She would've called him before, trying everything in her power for him to take her back.
But that couldn't happen. Spencer was forced to face her true, terrible reality. Her son was having brain surgery. She was still broken up with Toby. Nothing could change this moment, no matter how hard Spencer tried.
"I know you're still awake," Toby muttered, holding Spencer in his arms. He had practically ordered her to get as much sleep as she possibly could. He had seen sleep-deprived Spencer, and it was practically a nightmare.
"So what if I am? I can't sleep. I keep thinking about Isaac." Spencer snapped. Her emotions had taken a complete toll, and she was feeling a mix of anger and worry, and most of the anger was towards herself.
"Alright, Spence. Do you need to talk? It doesn't even have to be about Isaac. It can be about whatever." Toby finally said after a few minutes. He cradled Spencer in his arms, making her feel safe and protected. Her head rested on his chest, and every second, she heard his heart beating. That feeling alone gave her so much hope. The sound of blood pumping throughout his body, keeping him alive, gave her a feeling that was close to being in heaven. She wouldn't trade this for anything.
Spencer was too afraid to talk to Toby about what also mattered to her: their relationship. But, if there was anything this situation had taught her, it was that life was too precious to play it safe. You need to take a risk.
"Can we talk about... us?" Spencer asked sheepishly. The confidence that was once in her voice was gone. She didn't know what happened, but she didn't try to change it. She had never felt more vulnerable in her entire life. That was saying a lot. Nothing in her life had made her feel more vulnerable and exposed than right now.
Toby looked down at her, implying that he was listening and ready to talk. Spencer couldn't help but admire his crystal blue eyes. It was like staring at the most beautiful ocean in the world.
"I miss you." She finally admitted, looking down at her hands, which were shaking. She had never been this nervous around a person before. Normally, she'd approach a person head-on, with no lack of confidence whatsoever. That was how her parents told her to approach people, especially important people. When her parents weren't ignoring her, they had rammed information into her brain that stuck with her forever, and it wasn't until now that she realized that most of the things that her parents had taught her was wrong. She'd vowed that she'd never do that with Isaac.
But with him, she was different. She wasn't afraid to be herself around him. She got nervous a lot, mainly because she never wanted to screw up around him. He was perfect. They were perfect.
Toby looked speechless, and Spencer spoke once again. "You don't have to say anything, but I really do miss you. I know it sounds selfish, but I just want you to be around me, especially now. I miss sleeping next to you, I miss you holding me like this, and I miss being a family with you and Isaac." She admitted. She felt a single tear running down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly. She didn't want Toby to see her cry. She didn't want anyone to see her cry.
Toby knew he had made a huge mistake. Since he had moved back into his old apartment, he felt unmistakably empty inside. She was what filled the void in his heart. She was the light in his life. Without her, his life had absolutely no meaning. Seeing her cry made his heart break into a million pieces.
"I'm never leaving you again." he finally said, leaning in closer to her, "I love you." Their lips met, and every bad feeling Spencer had temporarily gone away. It was like he had healed her. After a few kisses, it had turned into a full-on make out session. If the phone hadn't rung, they would've gone further.
Spencer answered her cell phone, eager to hear who was calling her. She prayed that it was about Isaac. "Hello?" she said, trying to hide the traces of worry in her voice.
"Hello, Spencer Hastings. This is Abigail from Hartford Hospital. Your son is out of his surgery. You're able to see him now." a woman's voice said.In that moment, Spencer felt as if things were turning around. Her baby was okay. She had Toby back. In that moment, everything was finally okay.
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