A Change of Heart

"Valentines day is for the weak."

Roni pov-

"We were up all night talking, most nights it's only for about 30 minutes because of school. Except, last night we talked and talked, it was more like 3 hours. It felt really nice, you know?" I tell her, she frowns. "Until..." She draws out, I put my head against my desk.

"Until I felt all this guilt for lying to him about Matty. You know I'm not good under pressure." I whine, she shakes her head. "There was no pressure! He didn't even know the truth, you could of drawn it out for a long ass time!" Joselyn whisper yells, I bang my head against the desk. "I know! It's just that I didn't want him to find out later and hate me!" I exclaim, she puts her head in hands. "Too late, he's fucking pissed Roni." She says, like I don't already know.

I leave my head laying against the cold desk, my mind racing at 100 mph. "Okay class, let's get out our English textbooks. Read over pages 400-410, then answer this one question on the board. We'll have a class discussion, then we're done for today. This is a participation grade." The teacher says, she then moves back to her desk.

I pull my book out, reading the pages she had assigned. It was all about some love story, they were lovers but it seemed like they lived worlds apart. In the end, they ended up together, but they weren't as happy as they were when they were miles apart.

"Times up, time for discussion. Hm, Jess will you please answer the question on the board?" She asks to the poor boy in the back.

How significant is long distance love, and is all love manageable?

"Personally, I think long distance relationships are a waste. You never get to see them in person, never get the same intimacy, and you never know what their up to. I think it could be manageable, but in reality, no it's not." Jess says, I chuckle under my breath.

"Ah, is this funny Roni? Would you like to interject?" Our teacher pulls me from my thoughts, Joselyn snapped her neck to look at me.

"I agree that some of those things aren't 'offered' in a long distance relationship, but that doesn't mean it's not manageable. Love is love, so why does miles make it unmanageable? If someone loves someone they won't just stop, and distance doesn't determine the amount of love." I rant, everyone's eyes on me, and my teacher wearing a smirk. "Interesting." She says, turning around to walk to her board.

She starts to write something on the board, Valentine's Day. The guys groan, but some girls sit up straight.

"How do we feel about the glorified holiday of valentines?" The teacher asks, no one says anything. It was a few moments of awkwardness, before Joselyn raises her hand. The teacher nods her on to speak.

"Valentines Day is for the weak." She simply states, the boys laugh. "She's got a point!" One yells, the girls give him and Jos a dirty look. "I don't understand what she means by that." A girl rudely says, Joselyn looks at me and rolls her eyes. She jokingly sticks her finger in her mouth, mouthing yuck. "Joselyn, elaborate." Our teacher says, she straightens up.

"What I mean," she looks directly at the bitchy girl, "is that we glorify this stupid holiday that could be celebrated everyday." She states, I silently applaud her.

"Do you even have a boyfriend? Do you even know what it feels like to celebrate valentines?" The same bitchass asks, I snap my neck to look at her. "Why does that matter? You don't even have to celebrate valentines with a lover. That's what she was probably getting at, if you didn't talk so much." I snap, the girl looked shook.

"I've got this." Joselyn whispers to me, trying to calm me down. "Ladies, let's not fight." The teacher says, Joselyn raises her hand again. The teacher hesitantly let's her speak.

"Okay, so I see what you're saying. You think that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is something mandatory for Valentine's Day. However, it can be spent however you like. You can spend it with your lover, friends, family, or even yourself. When I said it was for the weak, I meant the weak minded. The ones who assume you have to follow the status quo, the way everyone else celebrates. It doesn't matter how you spend it. It's still over glorified, obviously. We're in a senior English class discussing love that we've never really felt before, we all don't know what true love is. We're 18, we don't even know what we're doing with our lives, so this holiday is just another reason to celebrate us not knowing what's to happen. Valentines day is simply weak. We don't know what love is, so we simply don't know what this holiday is either." Joselyn says, that's my best friend, yes.

"Hm, I like that answer Joselyn, good job. Any other rebuttals?" Our teacher asks, we all shake our head. "Well that's all I have for the day, carry on with your conversations." Our teacher says, sitting at her desk. Senior year is a breeze, especially since teachers like this one makes us do the bare minimum.

"So, how are we going to fix this?" Joselyn asks, I shrug. "You didn't do anything that needs to be fixed. I did this, he's also angry at you because of me. So, this is my issue." I say, her face drops. "Well, I went off on him so I'm in the wrong too. If you want to do this on your own, then so be it." She says, I nod. "I'll try to talk to him tonight, maybe he'll answer."

——————
"Why won't he answer?" I exclaim, throwing my hands up dramatically. "Well, if I had to guess..." Joselyn says, I give her a look.

"Well, why you try to do this, I'm making myself some macaroni." She gets off of the chair, walking towards the pantry. I start to hear a vibrating noise, hoping it's George calling me. I check my phone, it wasn't even ringing. I look at Joselyns, it was lit up. "Are you going to answer that?" She yells, I scoff. "Well he's calling you, not me." I say, she scurries into the room, grabbing her phone, then going to our dining room that we never use.

She answers the phone, she sits on the floor beside our china cabinet.

J: Hello?
G: Hey, what's up?
J: Just sitting around, you?
G: I called to apologize, I felt bad about going off on you.
J: Yeah, well I'm used to it.
G: I just felt betrayed, which I had no reason to, you didn't do anything wrong.
J: Yeah, I know. I forgive you though.
G: Okay, well I'll talk to you later. Tell Roni hi, I'm sure she's sitting right beside you. Since I know she's listening in, I'll call you later Roni.
J: What! Roni isn't here! I'm at my house.
G: Yeah, okay. I'd be surprised that you were.
J: Shut up, you just got me to forgive you.
G: Whatever, bye girls.

"I love how he just knew that you were here." I say, she laughs. "Yeah, well when am I not." She states, I laugh. "True true." I say, we gradually move back to the kitchen. "Ah my macaroni!" Jos yells, running to her cup on the counter. "What is wrong with you?" I laugh, she shakes her head. "I'm hungry, and your little boyfriend distracted me." She says, putting the macaroni cup in the microwave. "Not my boyfriend." I say, she shrugs. "Could be." She replied, I roll my eyes.

"So do you think he's really going to call?" I ask, she taps the fork against the counter, watching her macaroni spin around. "Yeah, he seemed pretty sincere." She says, I look down to see my phone light up. My heart races to see that George texted me.

I will call, sometimes the only thing I need is space.

"I'm highly convinced that your house is bugged, and he is a stalker." Jos says over my shoulder, I jump slightly. "I could toast to that one." I mumble.

"Well, besides all the boy drama. Are we having our annual Valentine's Day Mexican takeout, or? Tomorrow is valentines." She asks, I smile. "Who else would I spend valentines with?" I ask. "Do you even have a boyfriend." She mimicked the girl from class. "You don't have a boyfriend, but you've got me." I say, she smiles and continues to eat her food.