A Change of Heart

"We're always going to be broke in this economy ..."

Short and shitty chapter coming to you now   :(
Joselyn

"You know you can stay here anytime, it's just that I think you guys need to work it out," Joe says with a soft sigh, rubbing his thumb over my cheek, I shrug.

"It's only been two days, she has a phone too." I pout, he shakes his head lightly. "You two are best friends, you guys are literally carpooling towards Kingsport in 2 days, you gotta make up some time in between there."

"Well, I have my own car when in doubt."

Joe gives me a look before I sigh, standing up to meet his height.

"Am I wrong though? To feel this way? Or am I being conceited? Be honest with me."

Joe gives me a pitiful look before collapsing on his bed, pulling me into his arms to lay down.

"You're a great friend and you constantly feel the need to save or help others, do you take it overboard sometimes? Yes. Is it on purpose? No. Did she have the right to make fun of your job? No. Should you have been less judgmental? Maybe. There are so many outcomes and answers, that's why I think you should talk it out. It can't get any worse." At least he was honest, but I still couldn't get over the feeling of hurt from her attitude that night.

"I tell her that maybe she should ask me how I feel for once and she turned it into my job being shittier than hers? That it's my fault that I'm not working with cool musicians? That's low."

"How are you feeling? Besides the fight thing, what made you say that to her?"

"I don't want to get into a whole soapbox." I shake my head and he plays with my hair gently.

"Please do, it's concerning to see you so hurt from something besides this fight." He mumbles and I take a deep breath. "This is gonna be a lot, are you prepared?" I ask and he nods, kissing my forehead tenderly.

"I walk the halls of a hospital and see people sick, all day. I work with the older folks so I see people literally dying. I do change diapers and give elderly people baths, but they're still human. Most of the residents have no family that comes to visit them, it's so heartbreaking. I get hit and cussed out by these people because they don't know any better, it's hurtful to me. I come home crying some nights, I did recently because I held a cute old man's hand as he passed away, he didn't have anyone there for him. I thought being a nurse is what I wanted, but it's not. I recently had this 'aha' moment where I realized I don't know what the fuck I'm actually doing. I moved into this big city with my best friend, I'm paying for a degree I don't want any part in. I thought I could tell my best friend this and I can't even get the chance because it's always her. Always about the guys, the studio, the songs. Never once has she honestly cared." I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes, I couldn't tell if I was crying because I was pissed or sad, maybe both.

"You are mentally exhausted and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you silently go through the things you do, but it's what makes you, you. You wouldn't be able to express all these things and use it to help other people if it weren't for you going through it. That being said, it would be nice of Veronica to show some concern and take into consideration that you do work with people on their last leg. But to think that she never cared? You know that's not true."

Joe leans over me, looking at me intently once he heard me sniffle.

"Hey, you don't have to cry! It's okay!" He coaxes and I sigh loudly. "I've just gotta talk to her. I can't do this anymore." I hurriedly roll out of his arms and plant my feet on the ground.

"You're leaving right now? It's 10:45... at night?" He asks and I nod, putting on his white T-shirt and my black jeggings. "You can't just steal my T-shirt too!" He jokingly yells and I shrug before zooming out of his door. "Bye!" I shout throughout their apartment.