You're Shit At Lying

Chapter 42 - Sense Of Humour

HARRY'S POV:
It had been a few days since Talia and freya had come round, maybe about a week. They had come over maybe twice since then, and we just talked about random stuff. Though every time, I didn't want to talk about random stuff. I wanted to talk about real things, me. Either way, I did enjoy myself. I have also been talking to the boys a bit more now as well. I don't really want to, but I know I should. I want them to think I'm okay, and I want them to believe that there's nothing wrong with me. After collecting my thoughts, I got up from the bed and walked to my practically empty wardrobe, and picked out the same boring black bottoms and blue sidemen hoodie.

I made my way downstairs after being done in the bathroom, and went into the room we were filming in. We had to make more videos, as we didn't have that many more pre-recorded ones to post. I really wasn't in the mood, but I had to. I've put everyone through enough stress already, and I didn't want to do that anymore. Everyone was sat in the middle of the room on bean bags, except for Ethan because he hadn't actually arrived yet.

SIMON'S POV:
We had to film some sidemen videos, and yes just like everyone else I was stressed, but I was also worried. Worried about Harry. As much as I wanted to have videos to get out for everyone, I didn't think it was a good time. I don't think he'll be able to handle it. He's got a lot going on at the moment, and this stress added onto it all could end badly. Disregarding my thoughts, I went over to greet Ethan, who had finally turned up, fifteen minutes late. We quickly rushed back to the others and Kon turned the camera on.

To my disbelief, Harry had been handling it all pretty well. We were recording the third video for today, and he had been cracking out jokes left right and center. Though, one of the problems with that, was the jokes. I guess unpleasant was a good word to describe a few of them. As filming continued, his jokes got darker, and darker. He went from joking about ordinary things to really depressing stuff,
and I mean really depressing things. He was joking about fucking suicide! I know he had a lot on his mind, but I didn't think that was one of them. We carried on filming, changing outfits each time and occasionally going to a different room. We were now on our fifth video, which was supposed to be the penultimate one.

"What do you want to be when your older?"
A stupid question, obviously. Meant for silly answers. "When were older? We're already there" josh said, confused by the question. "Not everyone is as old as you" I joked, causing a few others to laugh with me. "A PORN STAR" jj abruptly spoke, interrupting our giggling. We all looked to him weirdly and whilst Ethan couldn't control himself, wiggling on the floor unable to stop, he found it too funny. "Fucking dead." Harry mumbled, and again, everyone erupted into fits of laughter. Except me.
"Is it really that fucking funny?" I said, annoyed that the boys were laughing. They all looked to me, each displaying a different reaction. "It's just his sense of humour Simon" Jj spoke, still giggling to himself. "Yeah, so that means it's okay to laugh at? Yeah sure, if someone else said it, fine, whatever. But who's saying it? Harry is! You shouldn't be fucking laughing at that! With everything that's happened, and everything he is doing, are you really laughing about the fact he said he wants to be fucking dead?" I was so mad, I wasn't thinking about what I was saying. the room fell silent as I looked to Harry, and my heart broke. He was crying. Everyone else looked to him, and when he finally noticed, he ran out of the room and up the stairs. "Dick move, Simon." Tobi said as he walked past me to go to the one who just ran up the stairs, clearly disappointed in me. Josh and Ethan looked to me in disgust, as they followed tobi up the stairs. "Don't worry si, I was thinking the same." Vikk said, looking into my eyes. I nodded to him and turned to jj, who just shrugged.

I felt so shit after saying all that, I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm not going to say what I said wasn't true, because I do think that. Either way, I knew Harry wouldn't be forgiving me any time soon, and that really sucked. He had only just started speaking to me again, after what happened with the Cals. I wanted to speak to him, and apologise, so I walked out the room. "Simon," I turned back around to see jj standing awkwardly behind me. "I don't think thats such a good idea" he spoke, already knowing what I was planning to do. "I need to say sorry" I murmured, starting to feel incredibly guilty. He gave me sympathetic eyes, before shaking his head.
"Not right now." He stated, before giving me a quick hug. I stood there as he walked away, unable to move. Yes, I know it seems quite pathetic, the guy who was just insanely rude feels bad. Well it's fucking true. I know what i did wrong, I know I should've said it, but I did. Fucking hell.