HARRY'S POV:
I don't want to talk to anyone. Why can't they understand that? Every hour they open my door to check if I'm 'okay'. They don't care as much as they make it out to be. All I've done for the past two days is tell people to fuck off when they come near my door. I feel like shit honestly. It's not like I want to be rude to them. It's horrible, but I can't help it.
I had so many thoughts, so many words I just couldn't get out of my head. So I did something I hadn't done in a while. Write.
it's like no one cares how i actually feel. as long as i'm alive, they don't give a shit. they want me to be happy. the only way i'll ever be happy is if i'm dead. so how can I win? i can't. all I want is to feel okay. i don't want to be the one who people are constantly worried about. i want to be anything but that. i need to be gone. i need people to stop worrying, to stop caring. i just need everything to stop, or i will. i want time to freeze, i want to work shit out. i want to feel better. but i can't. i know i can't. it hurts. it hurts to know that i'll always be this shit version of myself. the version i hate most. i can't go a day without doing shit i know i shouldn't do. i can't go a night without crying. i can't go on with life if it's gonna be like this all the time. i'm such a mess. this world is such a mess. we should be perfect for eachother but no, the world can't stand me and i can't stand it. i lie. i lie way too much. i'm not fine. i'm fucking anything but fine. people know that.
but that's the thing.
they know it.
they don't do anything to help.
are you okay? no.
okay.
that's all it ever is. no one wants to help me. They just want to be known for helping me. Nothing makes sense, and neither does this. I hate it. i really fucking hate it. all i want is to be gone. i don't want to feel okay because that will mean i still feel. i don't want to have to put up with shit anymore. good shit. bad shit. none. so why will no one let me have that?
'i'll help you do anything you want'
'will you help me die?'
'no'
'oh'
.
yeah honestly this whole chapter was just a mess. i think i just used it to vent? needed to express myself? idek bye.
YOU ARE READING
You're Shit At Lying
Fanfiction"Harry, how long are you just gonna pretend that your okay? We can all see it. Your not okay. Just speak to us, please?" "I'm absolutely fine Simon, what are you talking about? Why wouldn't I be okay?" "Your shit at lying Harry" Asking for help can...
