You're Shit At Lying

Chapter 70 - So Many Pains

Simon was tired that night, despite not being able to sleep. Harry also couldn't sleep, though he never could, really. So they stayed awake together all night. With Simon being too scared to say anything about Harry's meltdown, they mostly sat in silence, though it was still, most definitely on their minds. It was somehow comforting yet uncomfortable. The younger layed quietly, as the other sat up, their only method of communication being the occasional muttering of "Are you still awake?" or just them moving around every once in a while, trying to get comfortable. Of course, they didn't want to be in silence, they both wanted to scream their words. Simon wanted to comfort the man next to him, as he heard his cries all night. Harry wanted to speak. He wanted to say all the things he couldn't. It was rather simple. They were scared, but for different reasons.

Simon was scared, and he had all the rights to be. Harry had just asked to be killed, he wanted him to kill him, and it wasn't just some throw away comment, it was real. He heard the pain, the agony in his voice, he was desperate. He wanted to be dead, and only now, did Simon realise how serious he was being. He wasn't stupid, nor was he slow, he was merely scared. He didn't want to come to the realisation of how sever the whole situation was, because that would mean having to face it. It sounds horrible, and maybe it was, but he had told himself that if he'd just ignored the situation for long enough, it would go away. Though now, he finally realised how idiotic and rude that was.

Though with Harry, it wasn't so hard to ignore. The pain was always with him. It seemed simple, though it was anything but. He had so many pains. The constant stinging on his forearms, thighs and now stomach, just screaming 'one more time'. The pounding of his head, and the demonising thoughts inside it, also screaming. The soreness of his throat, and the churning of his stomach. The emptiness in his chest, that hurt the most. An indescribable feeling, and he wanted it gone. He meant what he said to Simon, he meant it more than anything. All he wanted was to be gone, he didn't want to feel anymore. Harry was petrified, and again, he had all the rights to be.