You're Shit At Lying

Chapter 44 - Overwhelmed With Guilt

TOBI'S POV:
I ran up the stairs with Josh and Ethan by my side, following Harry. Just as we made it to his room the door locked infront of us. "Fuck" Ethan murmured, trying to push the door open. Josh and I knocked on the door as Ethan continued to try. "Harry! Bog! Come on open up!" I shouted, growing increasingly worried about the young boy on the other side of the door. After another minute or two Ethan finally managed to unlock the door, and we all came running in, I went straight to Harry, whilst josh turned on the lights. "He's having a panic attack" Josh quickly spoke, clear panic in his voice as he studied the youngest sideman. I knew what to do, when I was in school one of my friends used to get panic attacks quite offen, and I had to help him undo his top buttons on his shirt, and take his tie off. So, leading from that experience, me and josh helped each other get his hoodie off, as Ethan just stood there in disbelief, startled by what he was seeing. "Harry, listen to me, I want you to take deep breaths in and out okay?" Josh spoke carefully, but he didn't respond.

After around five minutes, Harry had calmed down and was now heavily crying into my chest, as we sat at the foot of the bed, leaning against it. "It's okay Harry, don't worry, everything is going to be okay." I spoke sweetly as I held him. At that point he started to cry more, so I just held him tighter. Josh had gone downstairs to get a glass of water, and behz was still stood near the door. He seemed kind of scared, and I understood why. It's not the easiest thing to see one of your best friends go through something like this, not at all. Josh seemed to be taking his time, and my need for the toilet was increasing, I looked to Ethan. I ushered for him to come closer before whispering, trying not to wake Harry, who was now peacefully asleep. "I need a piss, take my place?" I spoke quickly, really starting to need it. He nodded slowly, as I stood up carefully, trying my hardest not to move the sleeping boy next to me. As we switched places, Josh appeared at the door, with a glass. "What took you so long?" I asked him. "I was-" I interrupted him very quickly "hang on wait a sec" i slurred as I rushed to the bathroom, luckily making it in time.

ETHAN'S POV:
Josh placed the glass down next to me, before telling me he was going to his room, as he needed to film for his second channel, and help Kon pack the camera equipment away. Then, just like that, I was left alone with harry. I made myself more comfortable, knowing I was probably going to be in the same position for quite a while, and then looked down to him. "That escalated quickly didn't it?" I whispered whilst stroking his hair. And I was right. Simon got out of hand very quickly, and from there on out everything just became one huge mess. I was mad, to say the least, but I was also confused. Either way I knew all I had to do right now, was to just be here for Harry, so that's what I'm going to do.

Twenty minutes of sitting in silence had passed, and tobi was back in the room, sitting up against a wall. Harry started to shiver and tobi noticed, so he walked out the room and returned shortly with a blue blanket. His favourite colour. I smiled to the man infront of me whilst he sat back down against the wall, and redirected my attention to the boy now with his face dug into my chest. I smiled widely at the sight. Even with tear stains down his face, and red bloodshot eyes, he still found a way to look cute. With him being the youngest of all the sidemen, it was obvious we all cared about him, and all had a soft spot for him, even though some might not show it. My smile dropped as I wrapped him up in the blanket. I moved his arm and as I did something didn't feel right, I turned it round and gasped slightly, Tobi somehow didn't notice. I knew he cut himself, we all saw it, that day, but I thought josh had got him to stop. They were fresh, it was easy to tell, and they looked very deep. I wanted to tell the man opposite me, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. I was overwhelmed with guilt, as I just wrapped the blanket round him, pretending nothing had just happened. I felt so bad already, and it hadn't even been a minute. How am I going to live with a secret like this? Do I talk to Harry about it? Do I tell anyone? I hate this already.