A Dauntless Kind of Love

Nine

I didn't know where I stood on the line of what is my life. Did I live a lie or did I tell him the truth and put all my trust into the love he told me he had for me?
I pull on the black skinny jeans and boots and then I grab a black short sleeve V-neck shirt. I run a hand through my hair and then hurry out to breakfast to meet up with the others.
Lynn, Marlene, Uriah and Connor were all sitting at our usual and they all had full plates already.
"Hey Kraven! I saved you a seat!" Connor says excited and I smile while Marlene snorts.
"Who are you kidding Connor! That seat is vacant because no one wants to sit next to you." Uriah and Lynn laugh with her and Connor acts hurt.
"It's ok Connor. I want to sit next to you." I give his shoulder a pat and then grab a muffin.
"That all you're eating?" Uriah questions my choice of food and I shrug.
"Yeah, is that ok with you?" I ask and he gives me a small pout.
"It's just that we all think you've lost a little a weight. You're looking a little thin." He says and I raise an eyebrow.
"Well stop worrying. I'm completely fine just a little stressed out."
"Why are you stressing?" Lynn asked, "You've been in the top spot for all of initiation."
I told her most things but the one thing I didn't tell her was my divergent issue that I was currently suffering from.
"Just stuff with Eric." I say and look down at the barely touched muffin.
"Well stop stressing. Today is the last sim before the final test tomorrow. then we are all in the clear." Marlene says and shoves some more eggs in her mouth.
"If you're ready to head to the room, I'll go with you." Connor says and I quickly jump up at his invitation to get away from the table.
"Let's go. See you guys there." I give them a nod and then Connor leads the way out of the rec.
"Alright so what's really going on Kraven?" Connor asked after a few moments and I looked at him with a fake glare.
"I should have known you had ulterior motives."
"I'm just worried about you. You've been pretty distant lately."
"well look, I promise that after tomorrow everything will be back to normal."
"Ok fine, but if it's not, you have to tell me what's really going on,"
"Nice try Connor but I promise it's nothing."
We walk into the room where we wait for Four to call our names and almost everyone is here besides the three we left at the table. We take a seat and I give Tris a small smile, she gives me one back which makes Chris start whispering to Tris. I roll my eyes and then lean into the back of the chair. soon Uriah, Marlene and Lynn join us and names begin being called.
I'm called after about an hour and I want in to see Eric standing in the corner and Four walks to the computer.
"You only have to do this two more times Kraven." Four says to me but I shake my head
"I think this might be the last time Four." I tell him and his eyes go wide with fear and e shakes his head.
"Kraven no. you cant." he says to me and Eric steps forward.
"What's going on?" He asked but I shook my head and then sent him a small smile.
"Nothing. Start the sim Four." I tell him and it takes a moment but he moves away from me and grabs the injection. Eric moves to watch the screen as Four gives me the shot.

I look around Eric's apartment and it only takes a second for him to come at me, the oh so familiar gun in his hand.
"Why didn't you tell me? You didn't think I would find out?" He yells and this time I don't flinch at his words. They don't scare me because I know what's coming after this sim will be so much worse.
"I'm sorry." I whisper and he shakes his head.
"No you're not. You're just sorry that I found out. You're just a divergent whore!" The gun comes to my eye level and I stare down the barrel. I can practically see the bullet as it flies towards me.

My eyes open and I'm back in the sim room. I don't move. I can practically feel Eric's anger vibrated throughout the room.
"Four get out." Eric says but doesn't move. "get out!"
"I won't let you kill her." Four days angrily and I just take a deep breath.
"Four, it's ok." I tell him and he pulls me into his arms and gives me a tight hug. "It's ok Four." he pulls away and then walks out the door. I stand up and turn to face Eric whose eyes are cold.
"You know what this means don't you?" He asked and I nod.
"I know. you have to kill me."
i don't know where the gun came from but as he pointed it at me I became well aware of it. I thought I would be ready. I thought I had prepared my self for my death. But looking into his eyes... I found myself unprepared.
" I love you." I tell him but I get no reply.
I heard the gun go off before I felt it.

I shoot up and look around. Feeling my head for a gun shot wound but there wasn't one. I look around and see Eric asleep next to me. It was a dream.