Alastor's Fading Static Hatred (Radiodust mpreg)

Chapter Ninety-Nine: Fixing Up The Idiot

[Fae's point of view]

I sat down as Crowley passed me Jeff's heart. It floated about an inch above my hand, glowing bright blues and reds and the occasional blacks. Prince stared at the heart, confused.

"Why isn't it shaped like a human heart? Do all people have hearts like that? Is that even a technical heart?" Prince started. Aziraphale stopped him from jabbering some more at me, who clearly doesn't know anything about it.

"My dear child, everyone has a heart like that. That type of heart contains your soul, personality, orientations(sexual and romantic and gender), the name of your soulmate, date and time of birth, and your memories. For Jeff, Crowley, Fae and I, it's a physical thing. For you, it's a figurative thing. In short...it's like a memory drive or something like that. The heart that beats is a separate thing that is very close to the soul heart in the body." Aziraphale explained. "None of the angels or demons or Nephilim know why they're shaped like that, just that they are."

"Ohhh. What's a Nephilim?"

"A half-breed between an angel and a demon." I replied for Aziraphale. "There are a few that I work with. Charlie, for example, or Nathan. And possibly a little Crowley-Fell later on." I gestured to Aziraphale's slightly rounder than normal figure.

"Shhh, it's a surprise." Aziraphale tried to tell me.

"Crowley already knows, Zira. He just hasn't said anything. When do you think you're due?" I asked.

"I have no idea." Aziraphale sighed.

"Well, call me when you go into labor then. I'm almost always available nowadays." I told him, patting him lightly on the back.

I let my attention fall on Jeff's temporarily lifeless body, watching Crowley flit around my almost-husband's temporarily robotic form and the forge.

"Boney piece of shit dunce...so stupid for just fighting and not running..." Crowley grumbled as he hunted down the molds for hand bones and foot bones. He had disassembled Jeff's hand completely, revealing a bent and tangled set of golden metal hand bones. He melted down the old bones over the fire and filled the molds gently, a slight smile passing his lips as they filled. He put them in his pressure pot before disassembling Jeff's foot and ankle.

It was mesmerizing to watch him work because his nimble fingers almost danced as he fixed Jeff up.

"You there, Fae. Can you help a little bit?" Crowley asked, wiping his brow. I got up, still having the heart floating above my hand.

"What do you want me to help with?" I asked.

"Keep an eye on the pressure pot please and thank you. I've had those molds explode at least once and I don't want it to happen again. I got to fix up ribs seven through...ten, I think, over the fire itself because ribs are a pain to make." Crowley told me softly before opening Jeff's chest cavity gently.

"How do I know if the molds will explode?" I asked.

"Cracks will appear in the stone. The off button is the big red one and then you just take the latch off the top. I suggest you take off your jacket, it gets very hot in this section of the forge." Crowley replied before making small talk. "So...you got back from Earth. Did you stargaze at all?"

"Oh, yes, I hadn't seen the stars in forever, it was lovely." I replied.

"Did J here tell ya that he helped me make half of those stars?" Crowley asked. My eyes widened.

"He made stars? You made stars?" I asked, confused and amazed.

"Yes. I'm the one who created the stars in space. I have to say that I'm the most proud of Alpha Centauri. It's a lovely place and I tried to get Aziraphale to come with me there when I thought the world was gonna end." Crowley chuckled.

"Those stars were my entire childhood! Yet you made them?"

"With Jeff, yes. He's also the person who gave the Milky Way galaxy its coloring with his first paintbrush. Not him directly, but I had him paint a few star system designs for me. He was good at it. This is the equivalent of me sharing embarrassing baby pictures of him with you behind his back, say nothing to him about it and I'll tell you more, deal?" He stared at me after taking off his sunglasses.

"Deal. Wanna shake on it?"

"Do I look like I can shake your hand right now? My hands are full of hot metal."

"Fair. Any other embarrassing stories about my hubby?" I asked as I popped open the pressure pot.

"Oh, plenty. When he first woke up, he startled me and I dropped a star in the fire. Then later he somehow tripped in midair and collided with Aziraphale in the kitchen. Aziraphale panicked and latched on. Poor Jeff got himself stuck in a hug with Aziraphale and was very confused and unhappy about it." Crowley laughed. I laughed uncontrollably.

-----

"Thanks again for fixing me up..." Jeff paused before a shit-eating grin spread across his face. "Dad."

"Don't you dare call me that again. I'm not a father properly yet." Crowley scolded Jeff.

"You don't have to have a biological child to be a father, Crowley." I pointed out. "You could consider Jeff your child, though he's a complete idiot and I wouldn't recommend it if you didn't wanna be rescuing him a lot."

"Hey, be nice." Jeff whined a little bit.

"No. Now, c'mon you dunce, we gotta go home and see Cal and Nathan."

-----

"No peeking. I gotta get ready." I screeched as I made my way to the door with my hands over my eyes.

"Okay, dear. See you there." Jeff laughed.

"See you there."

-----

"You look amazing. I'm so glad we got Rosie to do a quick change to your outfit." Angel said as he helped me get the wedding vail right on my head.

"Me too. I don't think I would've been able to walk with such a long dress." I played with the way the hemmed up dress twirled a little bit, staring at myself in the mirror. "I'm not the skinniest guy in the world, I think that's either Al or Jeff, but I look good, even with the thick brown fur on my legs."

"You're digitigrade, bro, it's normal to have fur when you're like that. I mean, look at Angel's goddamn legs." Shane teased.

"AY! You are literally the exact same as Fae." Angel protested.

"So? You've got two little hot pink toes on the end of each leg."

"FUCK YOU."

"Hey, not in front of the children." I said softly, indicating Mercy, Cal, and Aubrey.

"Sorry." Angel apologized as I fixed the two with the deadest stare.

"I'm not apologizing." Shane said, folding his arms. I sighed heavily, beckoning Calypso over.

"You got the rings?" I asked her. She nodded. "Can you make sure Nathan isn't throwing flower petals at your father before the wedding even begins?"

"Yes, Dad. I'll be right back." She flounced away in her flowy purple dress, heading for the other dressing room.

Nathaniel poked his head in cautiously. "It's almost time. Everyone is here. Jeff is getting his bow tie done by Ani and he's going to stand at the front." He informed me. "I'd estimate that you have to be out there in three minutes."

"Oh good. Cake here?" I asked.

"Yes, sir. Good luck out there." Nathaniel left. I put on the little silver ankle bracelets and all my jewelry, making sure my makeup was good.