Family Comes First

Chapter 11

- A m a r a  R u s s o - 

"You want me to go to a therapist? For what?" I spluttered, eyes wide in shock. 

"For your nightmares. We think you might have developed PTSD, and we want you to be able to heal from it properly instead of forgetting it. It's better to confront your fears than to run from them as they always catch back up to you in the future." Salvestro said in a way of explanation.

"No. I told Salvatore I won't go, and that is still my answer." I stated rather harshly, standing up.

"Bambina," Salvestro groaned, putting a tired hand over his eyes. "Come on! Trust us, you'll feel better after your sessions." he said, and my eyes hardened.

"Well, I guess I don't trust you then." I spat, before turning around and storming out of the dining room, leaving four shocked males there, jaw touching the floor as their eyes followed my every movement.

Slamming the door to my room, I had to stop the tears. Didn't they understand that telling them about my past was already my limit? Why did they have to keep on pushing? Why aren't they understanding? It's not like I'll talk anyways, they'll just be wasting their money on me.

'I agree. You really shouldn't go to a therapis-"

Nope. I'm not listening to them. Blocking out the voices, I went into the bathroom, averting my eyes from the mirror as I decided to take an early shower. More like a morning shower, but whatever. 

When I came out, Salvestro was sitting on the bed, looking around my room. 

"I told you I won't go." I growled at Salvestro, who gave me a pleading stare.

"Tell me why." he replied, looking at me. "I won't judge you."

"Because, well, ummm, I just don't like to talk about my feelings with random people." I blurted out, cheeks flushing red. 

"You don't want to go to a therapist because you don't want to talk about your feelings with them?" Salvestro clarified, and I nodded my head.

"Well, I guess you can say that. But it's more like judgement, y'know?" I mumbled, looking down at my hands.

"Bambina... Therapists aren't supposed to judge you. They're supposed to understand and help you." Salvestro said softly, a faint smile on his lips as he put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"No," I whined, prolonging the 'o'. "they always act like they won't judge you when they do judge you! You can see it in their eyes." I insisted, and Salvestro sighed, standing up and pulling me into his chest. 

"Bambina, everyone judges everyone. It's a human trait we all have. It's just that therapists accept you and your problems instead of bashing you for it." he said gently, pushing away my curly hair from my face.

"B-but, I just..." I tried to find a way to explain my feelings to him. "I just don't trust them." I finally said, and I prayed that he understood. Thankfully, a flash of understanding entered his eyes.

"Oh." was all that went out of his mouth. "How about we make a deal." he said, and I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked eagerly. Anything to get out of going to a therapist.

"How about this. We try to work out your feelings together. If you seem to be doing well and your nightmares subside, we won't go. However, if your nightmares continue, you will be going." he said sternly. "It is the only deal I am willing to make. I'm already risking a lot, not making you see a therapist." he said, and I considered the offer.