Change My Mind ~ Criminal Minds (Aaron Hotchner x OC)

60.0: Overdue Smiles & Confronting Empty Feelings

A/N: This story is based on 7x02 Proof and the setting of this episode has been changed from rural Oklahoma to Hickory, NC but that's the only major change I've made in this story~
Title is based off of two songs used in this chapter

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CASE HAS A MENTION OF SEXUAL ABUSE (RAPE)

"Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end."
― Robin Sharma

Crystal sat on her couch working on the last of the paperwork, she checked her watch. 

11:03 PM

Crystal pushed her hair out of her face as she tried to focus on the paperwork, it had been 4 days since the team had been trialed. It had been 2 weeks, 4 days, 19 hours, and 23 minutes since she had last talked to Hotch...but she wasn't counting or anything. The entire Unit had been on edge, things didn't feel the same with Hotch and Crystal not laughing or smiling at each other.

Anderson had been delivering her half of Hotch's files, Crystal had felt guilty for adding extra work onto his busy schedule. "Are you sure I'm not bothering you?"

"Of course not Agent, and before you ask, the answer is no. Agent Hotchner has not ordered me to do this for you. I decided that maybe you two aren't ready to talk just yet."

"I'm still sorry, let me know if I can repay you for your kindness."

"You could talk to him...the Unit isn't the same without seeing you or him smile, I honestly forgot how Agent Hotchner frowned since I haven't seen it ever since you've joined." Anderson had told her honestly and Crystal didn't respond, she simply took the files from him and handed him the ones she had finished. Anderson sighed at this, but didn't push the subject further and Crystal looked down at her paperwork to start again.

A/N: Listen to this song as you read until the case is talked about~ (The Hardest Thing - Tyler Ward) The last 30 seconds is him talking about his patreon

Crystal knew the team was also worried, Crystal had started to go back to her old clothing she wore when she first arrived and didn't wear her glasses anymore. Morgan had pulled her aside to talk, "You know you're going to have to talk to him."

"There's nothing to talk about." Crystal shrugged and walked away from him, she knew everyone meant well but she didn't want to talk about it. 

Crystal put her mug down when she heard the familiar sound of the elevator, she hated how she just knew it was him, how she was already up before she could stop herself, she hated how she silently walked over to the door, and she hated how she leaned against the door as Hotch stood on the other side.

Hotch had been doing this for the past 4 nights, he'd come over after he was done at the office and stand in front of her door. He'd never knocked, which Crystal was kinda glad that he didn't because she didn't know if she could open the door, and he'd stand there looking at the door. 

Crystal would always walk over to the door and lean her back against the door, Hotch knew that she was on the other side of the door and he would rest his forehead against the door. Crystal knew that he knew she was there, they both had developed this sort of sixth sense of knowing when and where the other person was when they were close by.

Crystal hated how the butterflies would come, how she knew exactly when it was him in the elevator and not one of her neighbors, how deep down she wanted him to knock, how she wanted to have the courage to open the door, how she wanted him to hold her, but she knew that even if she had the courage to open the door she wouldn't...she wouldn't open the door no matter how much she wanted to.