dreamer//h.s

08//close

Harry Styles
June 12, 2018
Nashville, Tennessee 

Closeness. Something that humans either love or hate. I actually love closeness. I know a lot of people and its hard sometimes getting close to people in my profession. You have to always worry about if someone came into your life for the right reason or not. With Miss Ila James, I didn't have to worry about it. Though I could tell she knew who I was and she was a fan, I wasn't scared. There is something about her that is special.

I want to be more open with her. I really do. I knew eventually Ila was going to tell me that she needed that from me to continue our friendship. I don't want to lose her, I can't lose her, I won't lose her. I will do anything I need to for me to be able to keep close. If that means I tear down the wall I spent years building to protect my heart then I will do it.

At this point, I can fully admit that I do have feelings for her. Who wouldn't? She is sweet, kind, beautiful, sexy, stunning, cool, and overall amazing. She has a sense of humor like mine as well. The only issue is that I don't think she feels the same way. So I wont tell her or show that I have feelings because that will make her leave. If I can't have her as a girl friend I can at least have her as my best friend.

Mitch is my best friend but I feel closer to Ila than him. I can't explain why and I think Mitch knows that and I don't have to say anything.

Speaking of Mitch, we have not been able to hang out as much as normal because my time is spent with Ila and he and Sarah are finally official. But, since we are in Nashville we are heading to the studio this morning to have a writing session since I need to get working on a new album anyway.

This studio session probably will be us just goofing off most of the time. We have it booked for 2 hours, so not much will come of it but, it will be nice to get back into the studio.

This morning I got up and hopped in the shower since we had a show last night and hopped on the bus right after. We got into Nashville around 5 am. After we checked in I came to my room and went back to sleep. So safe to say I needed the shower. Ila went to her room so that I didn't disturb her getting up for the studio.

Today I decided to listen to music while I showered. Na Na Na by yours truly, One Direction came on. Not having heart to skip it I said fuck it and started to jam out.

"We've got a bit of love-hate
You take me to the edge, then you hit the brakes
I-I-I say, "It's over" one day
But then I'm crawling back, begging you to stay
We make up, and we break up all the time
I'll say that I hate a song
Then you'll go request it the whole night long
Some people say it's so wrong
But even when we fight, girl, you turn me on
We make up, and we break up all the time..."

As I go to sing the Chorus, I hear someone else singing or more so screaming;

"We're like, na, na, na
Then we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah
Always like, na, na, na
Then we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah
No, we can't make up our minds
'Cause when we think we got it right
We go, na, na, na
Na, na, na"

I guess it's a good thing I am done showering. So throwing my towel around my waist I walk out to see if I am going to get killed. To no surprise at all it's Ila jumping on the bed with the tv remote as a microphone singing along to the song that is still playing. She hasn't noticed that I busted her.

The song ends, she's winded and notices me standing there. Her eyes scan me up and down and smirks. Falling down on the bed she still is scanning me and she's making it so obvious that she is checking me out. Wait, Ila is checking me out... What the hell is going on...

"Earth to Ila James" I move closer to her waving my hand in her face. She starts blushing and she smiles in embarrassment, "sorry H." She looks me up and down one more time. "I've never seen you in a towel, well in person..." I roll my eyes and smile, "Thought you were going to sleep in?" I turn to my luggage to grab clothes, "yeah I was but I woke up and was lonely. I knocked but then heard you singing your song and I decided to come in. Noticed you were showering so to scare the shit out of you and well for fun as well, I started to jam out with you. And now we are here."