dreamer//h.s

27//matilda

hi guys...i know i left you on a cliffhanger but there are reasons and you will find that out tonight. thank you for sticking with me. 

Harry Styles
August 14, 2021
LA

I slam my hands against the steering wheel, "hurry the fuck up! Come on!" I yell out to the traffic light that is taking forever to turn green. I nervously tap my fingers on the wheel, "come on, come on, come on," I whisper out. The light finally turns green so I speed through and continue driving way over the speed limit.

Ila left me a voicemail screaming for help and yelping in pain, Will was doing something to her and I wasn't there to protect her. I was stuck in the studio and didn't see her call until just a few minutes ago. I try calling Ila for the 7th time since hearing that awful voicemail. After ringing 2 times it went to voicemail like all the other phone calls. My blood quickly boiling just thinking about what that fucking bastard might have done to Ila.

I know I should not be speeding but I need to get there because who knows how badly she is hurt and honestly I am worried he'd take her. At this point I just need to get to her and take care of that evil man after the fact.

Last night was amazing. Ila was absolutely stunning, as always, but the glow she had was something else. It was addicting, it was electrifying. I couldn't get enough of her energy and her beauty last night. I made a mistake last night. I didn't think that she was going to be the first to say something. I was on that balcony trying to form the words that I have been trying to say to her all those years ago. I thought that I finally had every word possible to tell her. I was going to tell her about everything about her I am in love with.

For Ila to come out on that balcony and tell me that she is in love with me and the fact that I am the love of her life, my words disappeared. I couldn't put my feelings in words anymore so I did the only thing that I could think of. Which was to kiss her. I am the dumbass to make the first move and continue to feed into it. I am the dumbass who decided to pull away and stop it. I am the dumbass that may have lost my opportunity to be with the love of my life.

I couldn't sleep last night. I felt awful for what I did because I know I broke my sweet girl's heart again. To the point that she didn't answer my texts or calls all day. I deserve it all. I deserve for her to not want to see me, talk to me, work with me, or even be with me.

I finally get to Ila's apartment and park. As soon as I turn off the car I am out and running to her apartment. I still have my key from three years ago, and it should still work unless she gets the locks changed. I get confused looks from the front desk ladies but, I could care less. My hands are shaking a mile a minute as I am waiting for the elevator to open so that I can get to her place. I close my eyes and take a breath, feeling a few tears fall down my cheeks.

I was back to reality when the elevator dinged letting me know that I can get in to go up. Once I get into the elevator I choose her floor number and I feel weak at the knees. I hold onto the handrail and take deep breaths. Reminding myself that it's okay and that Ila is okay. It's just a sick joke right? She is just playing a sick and cruel joke on me. That's all this is, when I walk in she will just be on her couch watching TV or doing work.

I get out of the elevator and find that I am walking slowly, like I am dragging myself. Walking slowly because I am absolutely scared of what I may see.

Getting my copy of her apartment key out I slide it into the lock. Sighing in relief that she hasn't changed the locks, I unlock the door and swing it open. My jaw drops at what I am able to see already. There's picture frames on the ground all shattered that were once on the wall. Pictures scattered with broken homes, pictures that house happy memories within them.