dreamer//h.s

25//wildest dreams

its that time again. Ila's birthday and i mean nothing can go wrong right?
have fun :)

Ila James
August 13, 2021
LA

Birthdays sometimes are kind of excessive. Not all the time but there are times where you just feel like there is no point. A lot of people feel this way every year so they don't celebrate. Some people celebrate every year. Some may go all out, some might just do dinner. I never had parties for my birthday besides my senior year. I didn't have another party until my 22nd birthday. Three years ago.

After my 22nd, I haven't even celebrated my birthday. At most I would order my favorite take out; italian food. I didn't feel like I deserved to celebrate getting older. Why would I when something happened to where I wouldnt have my best friend with me on my birthdays. I honestly thought I would never celebrate another birthday in my lifetime, I really did. That was until Harry came back and changed my life again.

Of course I am nervous about this. I think everyone would if after their birthday the love of their life just ghosts them. When you have no idea why or what you did to cause it. Harry promised and so I am going to trust him.

The two birthdays that have passed since that night I would stay in bed and be really depressed. Self medicated with drugs or alcohol at home. Today I woke up with a sense of deja vu. Im happy, im relieved, but I am also confused. Deja vu means something like what's happened before. Making me wonder if this year will be just like three years ago.

I don't want to manifest something like that to happen again so I am not thinking too much into it.

Crimson and Blair flew in a few days ago to help Harry and also spend it with me. Last night both of them came over to my place to have a girls night. I can hear them running around the rest of my apartment thinking they are being quiet but they are being quite the opposite. They are the ones who woke me up from pans falling to the ground and them bickering with each other. I don't know what they are up too but they are being to fucking loud.

I close my eyes to try to drift back off to dreamland but I was interrupted by two people jumping on my bed and me. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILA!!" Both Blair and Crim yell in my ears. Yawning and opening my eyes, "good morning to you too." I laugh lightly as both of them roll off of me. "Are you guys always that loud in the morning?" referring to them waking me up before they came into my room. Crim looks at Blair in shock and I just laugh at how dramatic she's being. "I thought we were being quiet." I playfully roll my eyes, "yea like that was being quiet." Blair shakes her head.

"Well we have a girls day planned. Starting with brunch and bottomless mimosas!" Blair says getting up and clapping her hands together. I nod and salute to her, "yes sir!" Crimson gets up as well meaning that I need to get up to or they will both be laying on me any minute. I get up and stretch while yawning again. God I don't think I can keep up with the two of them anymore.

I head into the main part of my apartment and see them in the kitchen. I walk towards the island and see a small heart shaped cake. All different pastel icing colours along with it saying happy birthday. "Aww thanks guys!" I give them both a hug. "We will eat this later when we are drunk." Crim says very excitingly, causing me to laugh loudly.