ACHES [Wattys Winner 2015]

My Melancholy Song

I am drowning, decaying, falling apart,

Not because I want to,

Because, It is the only way.

I have an ache in my heart,

Crying, Shouting, bleeding & suffering my poor heart.

It wants to tell you,

How much agony, I am in.

If there was a high on pain,

This is what, it would have been.

You ask me not to give up,

You ask me to be strong,

But that is what my heart is shouting about,

It is not because I am weak,

It is not because I am strong,

It is because, it is the only way for me,

The only option left.

You say you know, how ginormous my pain is,

Then tell me,

Have you scratched yourself intensely,

To numb the melancholy

And feel the more endurable physical form?

Then tell me,

Have you let go of,

Not a lover,

Not a friend,

Not a family,

But your own self ?

Of what you stand for?

Of who you are?

Your dreams?

Your convictions?

Your love for you?

And your options?

No! You don't.

Cause if you had,

You would not ask me again,

To try and to hope.

Still, Do you understand?

How my head throbs in my skull,

So much so that I want to crack it open for relief.

How my veins feed me noxious truths,

Of my living without me.

No! You still do not.

Cause if you did,

You would not ask me to stay strong.

My heart is still shouting aloud,

It is not because I am weak,

It is not because I am too very strong.

It is because, this is the only way for me,

This is my melancholy song.

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I just want to say nobody can understand what we go through, our pain is our own. Just that we need to find reasons apart from our own self to bear with such sorrow and try to keep going on, even when we have already given up. I love you all.... 

P.s- Please vote if you liked the poem and comment if you want to share something. :)