ACHES [Wattys Winner 2015]

Push you away

I breathe intensely with difficulty,

I breath in your name,

I breath out in yours,

To pacify what's left of me.

Even then,

I push you away.

Not because

I don't want you.

But because,

I don't yearn for you,

To see me like this,

To see me dying in your arms,

To remember this memory of me,

Losing life & giving up.

Even when I can't,

I want to live

With you.

Die when I have exhausted all

The life experiences there can be,

With you.

But you know,

I have to go.

An urgency from this ache inside.

This is the last moment,

And I don't want you to remember me like this.

So, I push you away.

Actually it is more of

Pushing myself away.

From your memory,

Your conscience,

Your heart.

To make you suffer less.

I know, I can't be

The rose of your life garden,

So why become

The only thorn on the barren.

So my love, just bid me goodbye,

Before I bid goodbye to the living.

Push me out of your mind,

And let me push you away.