𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 [18+]

35: The Vulnerable Captor

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

― Kahlil Gibran

Marienne's POV:

"Can you try and stand son?" Lindy seemed concerned as she enquired, moving beside me so that she can support my form.

I grunted in pain as I tried to retract my right leg from the cotton wire.

So much for redemption. I feel useless.

"I don't think I can," I mumbled, frowning at the defected limb. It has been almost two and a half weeks since the fateful incident and not once had I been able to move without crutches.

I looked at the old maid's direction upon hearing a soft chuckle. "What?" I grumbled.

"I can hear your brain working son," She whispered, "Stop being pissed at everything! You are worse than a woman on her period!"

I scowled at her. "Lindy, I am supposed to be like this. Pissed at everything, out of control, cold and emotionless."

"Well, you don't have to be like that forever," She nodded her head like had discovered something precious, "You can be happy to. Happiness is actually a relative thing. If you believe you are happy, you are happy. If you think those monsters are stronger than you, they are stronger than you. It depends of belief..."

I frowned. "Whatever you are saying is not practical. We have to think, analysis and come up with all the possible results before jumping into a work. Haven't you heard about Stephen E. Covey?"

I smirked at her. "Well, son," She trailed off, her voice holding a hint of mischief, "Haven't you heard about the power of your subconscious?"

My face fell and it was her turn to smirk. "This old, rusty lady isn't unlearned, son. Your elders are always right."

I rolled my eyes as I huffed, "Whatever, just give me my medicine and go away."

I saw her smiling softly, a light glow emitting from her posture. "What?" I grunted.

"I haven't seen you this.... sang-froid in a while. You are laughing, making jokes, grumpy, behaving like a child- my hearts jolts when I see you like this..." I stared at her, "Don't you think you have mourned enough?"

Small pleasures and affinities for the moment vanished in a blink as something seemed to snap inside me. I could feel the blazing fire of diabolic rage mingling along with the blood in my artery.

"What do you mean?"

"All I mean to say..."

"Never say that mourning for her is enough....." I stated, my voice grave, cold, menacing, "Remember this, tante, even if I mourn for her for a thousand lifetime, it would not be enough. She is the only person who has ever loved me. She is the only person whom I have ever loved and will love...."

I closed my eyes as I heard a drawer being opened, followed by a ripping sound of a wrapper.

"Moreover, she deserved a lot of things that I couldn't give her..." My voice broke with vulnerability, "She wanted a normal relationship and I couldn't give it. Even though she never said it, but, I could read her soul through her eyes like an open book..."

"Wh-What do you m-mean by normal?" My eyes snapped open upon hearing Lindy's shaky voice. She was visibly quivering, the hand that clutched the injection tightly was shaking. Her attempts at hiding her nervousness had failed miserably. Her skin had become a shade paler.